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I wish she would understand

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I'm so fucking frustrated. My mother is blaming my depression on not eating enough, and she believes that if I simply eat more, it will disappear. I don't even know if she really thinks its depression, she keeps referring to it as a "period of sadness." God, I'm so mad, I just wish she would understand, that no matter how much I eat, I'm still going to be depressed. What should I say to her?


Staff Alumni
Is there any ED resource or therapist that can give you some information to share with her so that she can understand that ED and depression do come with each other, but are not states that one just gets over...also, can you talk to her about getting care so that you can resolve these issues? big hugs, J


Well-Known Member
Your mother is desparately wanting to help and is saying the wrong thing.
Eating more is not likely to help and many of us know overweight depressives whose overeating makes them more depressed. What we eat is important and can affect mood a lot. But there is much more to your feelings that needs to be considered. You may well feel angry with her for keeping on about eating. If you can manage to try to explain that to her quietly but perhaps you have tries that already she still keeps on. Can you think of anything you would like her to do that would help? Is there something that you would like to talk about to someone, maybe you Mother, maybe someone else? Your mother loves you you know that and however much she ennoys you it is very important to remember that because she would never get over losing you and would blame herself. I have seen that happen to the mother of a friend of mine. What is it really that you want her to understand?

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
I don't think you can explain to your mother about depression i think you need your doctor to explain that to her a professional person will get through to her.
I think you and your doctor need tocome up with a plan to get you stable okay talk with your doctor to get you on medication for the depression get you in therapy to deal with the root of t he cause and start it soon okay so you can get healing.
Unless one has suffered from depression they will not understand without help
tell your mother you need to go see the doctor and get help to heal okay
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