I wish someone would care!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Emily, Sep 12, 2009.

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  1. Emily

    Emily Active Member

    im 19 and i still live with my mum, 3 brothers and mum's new boyfriend. at one point i used to think me and mum were so close, that we loved each other...how wrong i was! she doesnt care, shes too busy with barrie, her new lover to give a toss about me. 2 years ago i told her i was raped. not once since then has she asked about it about how im feeling or how things are going with the police! usually i eat and eat and eat but today im too depressed to bother and she hasnt even noticed! ive hardly said a word which is unusual for me and she hasnt noticed, i cut my leg and had blood seeping through my jeans and she didnt notice. would she even notice if i wasnt here one day? would she notice if i didnt wake up one morning, would she even care?!? it seems the only person in this world who gives a shit is my doctor and theres only so much she can do. all i want to do is OD. i couldnt care less about how it would make people feel, if they loved me then they would notice how low i am and that i just need to be recognised, i need a hug thats all!!! ive had enough of trying to fight these urges, of trying to hang in there for other people....ive decided ive had enough of this life, im gunn apick up my prescription on monday and take the lot....ive only been on here a couple days but i found support, i got plenty of support from you, its my family who are supposed to give a shit about me....
  2. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Emily, I feel the same way about my Mum and I have for years.
    Have you ever sat down with her and opened up your heart, told her exactly how you are feeling? Or maybe written her a really honest letter that she can't fail to read?

    I think sometimes parents and family think it's easier to shut the door and act like things aren't happening until they realise how serious it is. My Mum did this, but eventually I told her exactly how bad it was and how the next step was to end it all. She woke up a bit and realised I wasn't kidding.
    I hate the 'they're only human' excuse but sometimes it is true. People sometimes don't say or do anything at all because they don't know what to say or do for us. Until we tell them.
    I hope things get better for you and please don't give up. Family aren't always the helpful people we want or need them to be, it doesn't mean friends can't replace them as those people who can give you the hugs and love you need, and you'll find plenty of friends here. :hug:
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It is easier to close their eyes to the pain because then they don't have to feel it or deal with it. Your mom does love you she just isn't capable of helping you maybe because of her past. Leave her the note like suggested and go from there. People closest to us really find it hard as our pain becomes their pain sometimes. Please know we care here you can always come here and get support. Talk with councillors as well at school they will be helpful lot of hugs coming your way:hugtackles::cheekkiss:console:
  4. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    First you need to talk to your doc about wanting to end it. Be brutally honest. But also be ready to face the reality of what may happen. THis si for you, not your mom or family or friends. ITs about you now. Not going to sugar coat it. You'l probably end up in hospital. But then your family will realize jsut how desperate your situation is. They will have no choice. and once in hospital the whole family will have to become active in your recovery. They will have to notice. YOu can change this around but you will have to work hard at it. You have found people that care here and we wil be her to support you through this too. Tiem you give your family the wake up call they need before it's too late to make it better for anyone hun. Please call your doc and take that first step. Once you start taking the step s to get better the others may follow. IF not then you need to move forward and count on the people here to keep you strong. Good luck.
  5. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Some people know how to help us but most people don't. There is no training in school at all about how to help people who are depressed and or suicidal. Even where there is training or advise, people are told to find professional help. That leaves them where they started.

    Please don't blame your Mom. She can't read your mind or your feelings. I agree with the above post to tell her how you feel. You may want to say something like, "Mom I love you and I need you because I'm hurting, please find someone who can help us with this."
  6. Emily

    Emily Active Member

    well i had a talk with mum...it went ok actually. i told her how low i was, told her some issues i have with her boyfriend, with my future the family etc. she was quite understanding. she wants me to see my doctor and get put back on meds. im going to ask my doc about councelling while im there. i still feel like shit, but i think i can see a way foward....i think...thanks for all your advice. ill let you know how it goes at the doctors after ive been. probably tuesday.... -x-
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