I wish to leave

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lil-tash121, Nov 22, 2014.

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  1. lil-tash121

    lil-tash121 New Member

    Im trying so hard right now to do the best that i can but people have got such high expectations from me that i feel like a failure. Its so hard to keep on top of things when people are asking so much of you.

    My daughter went to live with my mother in 2013 and since then it feels as though she has got a hold over me. If i dont do something right she tells me i could lose seeing my daughter again. This has been a major problem for me because she holds all the strings so one foot out of place and i get threatened that i cannot see her. My daughter is my life and she is the only thing that is keeping me going. But i can only do this for so long before giving up.

    I feel like a waste of space and that i am not wanted anywhere unless needed for something. I dont have any real friends because i try too hard to please people.
    Please help :(
     
  2. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    So sorry to hear you are in pain and that you feel others have such high expectations of you. I know I have felt that way at times, only to learn that I was the one who was setting high expectations for myself.

    But I have never had a daughter so I can only try and imagine how you feel about possibly losing her. Have you seen an attorney. One who will protect your visitation rights.

    I saw you in chat earlier today. I hope you will return. Its a great group of people. Very NON-JUDGMENTAL. You don't have to worry about pleasing anyone. You can join in the conversation, or just listen. The reason some of us know each other in chat is because we have been coming for a while. But we were strangers when we started. We just stayed and got acquainted. Hope you will do the same.
     
  3. lil-tash121

    lil-tash121 New Member

    My mother says i can only have her back if i move, which i dont mind doing. but then i have other rules which i cant quite live up to.

    I dont really like interrupting in the chat because people are talking about all different things and it confuses me. Plus i dont know anybody and it worries me that they wont like me
     
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Hi, welcome to the site. I'm sorry to hear things are so hard for you right now. I understand your feelings about chat, but you don't need to worry about people disliking you here, because we are friendly and accepting. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me or we could meet up in chat :)
     
  5. Johnno

    Johnno New Member

    Lil-Tash. You say you dont know anybody, I didnt when I came in this chat. There are lots of nice people here. Yesterday a lovely lady called lil-tash private messaged me and I opened my heart to her and told her things I have told no one else here. The lovely lady listened and was non judgemental. I feel I have found a good friend here. Yes its you lil-tash so anytime you want to chat about absolutely anything message me. You gave me some hope that there are decent people who dont judge and make assumptions.

    Johnno x
     
  6. Bart

    Bart Banned Member

    lil-tash,

    I sent you a friend request the other day (which you kindly accepted) because I thought (and still do think) that you're a really nice person who I was slowly getting to know.

    As others above have said, this forum & chat are populated by *very* friendly people who are very keen to help you. You seem to suffer low self-esteem and maybe feel that you do not matter. Well, judging by the responses above, you do matter a great deal.

    Things can get better lil-tash, we're rooting for you.
     
  7. Johnno

    Johnno New Member

    lil-tash. Bart is exactly right you matter a great deal to people here. mail me here if you want to chat , x
     
  8. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    People can stick their expectations up their ass, that's how I look at it. If someone expects something of me that I can't do and they chalk it up to me not trying hard enough, and I know that's not the case, that's exactly what I tell them. You're not me. You have no idea what I'm thinking or feeling, thus, you wouldn't know it if I was doing my best. And if you don't believe I am, that's just too damn bad. Guess you'll be disappointed then. There's no reason you should have to prove yourself to anybody or live up to anyone's expectations besides your own. And why is your mother keeping your daughter from you? Does she have custody of her? Cause if not, tell her to eff off.
     
  9. lil-tash121

    lil-tash121 New Member

    thank you guys so much. It means the world to me that somebody cares. My mother does have parental responsibility (custody) of my daughter. Thats why its so hard. I have to do as she says when she says it. And some of the things she asks me to do is impossible.

    Thank you for your comments xxxxx
     
  10. Johnno

    Johnno New Member

    hey lil-tash. Yes we do care. Why shouldnt we your a lovely person. It was nice chatting to you yesterday knowing how happy you were because you had your daughter with you. Keep thinking of her when your down cos I know it cheers you up. Next time your mum asks you to do something that impossible tell her it is, you might be surprised.

    John, x
     
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Sending you a hug :hug: I think you should try and move further, baby steps and you will eventually make it better for both you and the your child.
    We'll be here through it with you. :hug:
     
  12. Johnno

    Johnno New Member

    Hey lil-tash. Havent seen you on here for a few days I hope yopur ok flower. x x
     
  13. Invisible Child

    Invisible Child Antiquities Friend

    Hi Hun,

    I have found that over time I am the one who has put all the high expectations on myself because I wanted more out of my life then the people on my birth certificate had. Although there are times that people do (I think expect more out of me when I am willing to give) expect a lot from me. We have to know our limits so as not to feel like "failure" when we are not able to reach their expectations. (That probably made no sense)

    You aren't a waste of time and you are wanted here. There are many wonderful people within this community that would sit and talk with you if ever you needed to. I know it is hard at times but keep your chin up hun. :hug:
     
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