I woke up this morning....

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by TheWr0ngChild, Mar 13, 2008.

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  1. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    After another disturbed night, after crying myself to sleep I woke up from a nightmare where I was running through a building that was being filled with poison gas and people were having their heads cut off like chickens on the slaughter line, it was my job to tell everyone in this building that they were going to die, I had to keep ahead of the poison and warn everyone who was still alive that their death was iminent. Just another typical night for me really, I don't get much more than 2 hours a night unbroken sleep, I'm lucky to get that when I'm in my PMS state, and it came to a head last night when I thought I could see faces in the wallpaper. I don't drink anymore (although alcohol was my only salvation from this), and I have not done "trippy" drugs like Salvia in an age, so it's all down to my PMS symptoms. I woke up this morning also thinking my mind was detatched from my body, because my body hurt so much, I feel so tired, weak, sick, and completly confused when I'm like this, it can last anything from 5 days to 2 weeks, and it's kicking me down with a new symptom, I'm losing my hair. I had managed to get my hair to the length I wanted it and then I was going to have it styled, but I have lost so much of it these past 2 months that my only option now is to have it cut off, which I cannot afford to do so this is getting me down even more and I think people are noticing it when I go out. Even my mum noticed I had lost alot of hair when she saw me last, and said she lost hair when she was pregnant (I am definatly not pregnant) and the symptoms have been going on for 2 years. No doctor has ever taken me seriously about it, as so many of the symptoms (apart from the SCREAMING stomach pains) can be put down to "depression" and "stress".

    The sleep depravation is ruining me, I really think I will ether have a serious accident like walking into a road in a daze or something like that, or harm myself on purpose if it does not stop, I have almost collapsed some days from it, sometimes I wish i would, right in front of a load of people, then I would land up in hospital and they would have to find out why, maybe then I would get the right tests done for a massive chemical inbalence caused by me female hormones, which is the only thing I think is causing this. Otherwise I feel like "fixing" myself some sleep, forever:sad:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 13, 2008
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Sorry to hear that things are so hard on you TinWoman. Have you tried sleeping pills to help you get a good night sleep? I think that you should focus on getting a good night sleep, before you become so sleep deprived that you have a serious accident. I don't get enough sleep either sometimes, though I probably should be.
     
  3. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    I am reluctant to add to my array of substances I have tried, I am alreaddy addicted to Codeine and I don't think adding another drug would be such a good idea. Right now I'd rather have the accident or maybe something else...
     
  4. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    Besides, I really don't care, if my stupid, tired, aching body and brain want to kill me, thats all good, less work for me. These nightmares are caused by my PMS, they really mess with my head, sometimes I wake up thinking I'm dead, sometimes I wake up covered in scratches with blood everywhere, it got so bad once I had to sleep with socks on my hands, which was stupid because as soon as I woke up I would stick myself with a knife or something sharp to make sure I was not still dreaming, I am losing my sence of reality to this redicules "condition" and I'm terrified, my memory is shot too, I can't even remember what I did in the last minute as it gets later into the "cycle" of things, I have even been to shops and managed to buy stuff without knowing it. I really think it's time to think about ending this insanity.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 13, 2008
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