I wonder how long it will take...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by philisophical_noone, Jun 23, 2010.

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  1. philisophical_noone

    philisophical_noone New Member

    I've been contemplating suicide for... a while. Sure, I found some things to delay the thoughts, like hiking, games, entertaining movies and the like, but they were just like medicine. And by that I mean they only worked while I was doing those activities, but the effects have gotten weaker. I have quite literally seen and done everything I've wanted to, and now it just hurts to wake up. My dreams have become uncontrollable, which is very bad for me, and I can't really find a reason to get out of bed. Not like I have anything to look forward to. And besides, this wouldn't be a selfish act, this would free up debt from my parents, make everyone's lives easier, and leave more food and water for others.

    I've seen advice, like find god, and it didn't help. And just recently, I found the perfect spot to die. To tell the truth, I'm not even sure why I'm posting here. I'll probably get the same worthless advice. But, why not give it a shot. At least until I have enough energy to drive to my spot.
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Please please get yourself some help and talk to a doctor or therapist. You are in pain and that does not have to be that way. Help is out there, you just have to get to it.

    There is lots of help here too, so glad you posted. Rarely do friends and family understand our emotions and often they get scared off and shut down on us....you won't find that happening to you here-no we will reach out to you and support you.

    So, and you may find this worthless but I hope not, my advice is get yourself some professional help and keep posting here for support and understanding. Many of us here came on our final day, or so we thought, only to find a lot of what we had been looking for all along. I hope the same is true for you.

    Please write back or PM me....I don't know you obviously but I care as we are all in this together. You have to do the hard part yourself but you don't have to do it alone any longer ..you have us! :arms:
    P.S. I know the little virtual hugs are silly but it is the best I can do online and I am just trying to convey what I would do if we met in a coffee shop or something ...that I care and am here to help.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 23, 2010
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    ease up finances omg you will cause them a world of pain
    won't get into the expenses it is to bury someone.
    Your depression is not under control try different meds try different therapies
    I am sure you have not run the total gamit of new medicines just coming out
    talk with your doctor therapist and get help to stop this downward spiral NOW
    The only thing you will cause for your parents is a lifetime of pain and grief
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