I've been contemplating suicide for... a while. Sure, I found some things to delay the thoughts, like hiking, games, entertaining movies and the like, but they were just like medicine. And by that I mean they only worked while I was doing those activities, but the effects have gotten weaker. I have quite literally seen and done everything I've wanted to, and now it just hurts to wake up. My dreams have become uncontrollable, which is very bad for me, and I can't really find a reason to get out of bed. Not like I have anything to look forward to. And besides, this wouldn't be a selfish act, this would free up debt from my parents, make everyone's lives easier, and leave more food and water for others. I've seen advice, like find god, and it didn't help. And just recently, I found the perfect spot to die. To tell the truth, I'm not even sure why I'm posting here. I'll probably get the same worthless advice. But, why not give it a shot. At least until I have enough energy to drive to my spot.