I won't be taken seriously

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by notmyyear, May 4, 2011.

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  1. notmyyear

    notmyyear Member

    Everyday I feel like doing something drastic, but I always second guess myself and do nothing. I've only done mild self-harm like eating very unhealthily, occasionally hitting my head against a wall. I just don't want to live with consequences like brain/organ damage from an attempt if I do decide to live.

    At the same time, I feel like I have to try something so that people know how bad it is. I'm so calm most of the time that I don't seem 'crazy' or that I'm a threat to myself, so people think I have control.

    How can I tell friends or my counselor that I need more urgent help without hurting myself and potentially regretting it?
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there Dan,

    I'd suggest writing your counsellor or friend a letter explaining how badly you're feeling. It's easier to write than talk.
  3. SuperMoon

    SuperMoon Active Member

    I hope this helps you in some way but by the time I decided to tell my mom, I had held everything in for months.
    I was very scared of how serious I was considering suicide so I asked her,
    "Can I please talk to you? And can you please just listen?"
    Once I told her, I broke down and the tears just kept flowing as I tried to explain how bad it was getting for me.

    You can either write a letter or talk to someone you can trust in person.
    I guess for me, even though I enjoy writing, I thought it was better to tell someone in person.
    I hope you feel better afterwards and get the extra help you need.
    Keep us updated?
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    My first time I entered the hospital I had written out my suicide note and let my sister read it.. I ended up in the hospital for a month.. They had to stabilise me on meds before letting me out..Maybe thats what you need to do.. I've been in the hospital ten times for them to make adjustments to my meds.. I'm sure your mom would rather see you in there than harming yourself..Please stop banging your head also, it could cause brain damage if you break it loose..
  5. notmyyear

    notmyyear Member

    Thanks for the replies, I'm considering writing a letter. The only thing is that I feel different day to day. Yesterday I felt like hurting myself, but today my emotions aren't ramped up at all and I mostly feel bored. I tend to trick myself into thinking I'm fine because of this.

    Also, I don't know if I feel comfortable checking myself into a hospital without being in a different state of mind. I just get the feeling that the people checking me in would be annoyed, like I'm faking it or being too cautious.

    I guess the main problem is that I don't feel like I belong anywhere, that I don't fit some criteria for a clinic or even a call to a suicide hotline. It's like everyone doesn't want you to hurt yourself, but they only take you seriously and help if you try. My life feels like a catch-22 right now.
  6. FBD

    FBD Well-Known Member

    If your emotions change from day to day, maybe you could keep a diary or something for a little bit just describing your emotions. or just write some stuff down when you get into a low and then show someone instead of just writing a letter. it might be more...i dont what word im looking for, but maybe accurate in describing how you feel if you are feeling it at that exact moment. showing someone a diary is a good starting point in trying to get you the help you need
  7. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    you don't need to attempt to be taken seriously. i have had a lot of help, crisis team, hospitalization, etc. without an attempt. you just need to be able to emphasize how desperate you feel. there is lots of help out there. if you are worried about expressing yourself print out this thread, or write a letter. that way you can be sure you don't forget anything.
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