that "this is the time" or "I'm gonna do it. Just want to say goodbye" . I know some people feel it necessary to say such things. And by no means am I trying to rag on them. No. Not at all. But, I feel like in order for me to really attain the help that I feel I need, I have to be honest with everyone. And I almost feel that by doing that... I might be helped in some small way. I've been stressed, as everyone has. But it just seems like, lately, i've been thrown so much my way that I can't handle it anymore. Day after day, I find new reasons to just give up. But i'll be honest, I am a weak person. Atleast when it comes to killing myself. I don't want to be remembered as someone who just "gave up" or who wasn't strong enough to deal with her life. And while, I think some people who do commit suicide do it for other people, I believe that the people who choose to live also for people. Maybe both situations aren't healthy. Maybe so. I feel like today is just another hurdle, one that I must get over, but I've been "getting over hurdles" for many many years. And frankly, i'm tired of it! Why do I have to?! Why... why do I have to be the one with a tough life. An unlive-able life. It makes me wonder. Then I reflect badly upon myself: It must be something i've done. Someone is punishing me. I really. Sometimes....don't know if I want to continue being the person I am.