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I would probably start planning my death if it wasn't for this forum

#10
Hey @Robster73 Just dropping by to see if you are doing alright.
Sending positivity your way :)
*hug
Thanks Kitten. Relatively stable the last couple of weeks. I find that whenever there is the slightest contact with toxic individuals, sadly my daughter - all hell breaks loose with me emotionally. So I am just keeping my boundaries. But it's really hard when myself and my wife and my daughter are all equally affected by the toxicity of our estranged daughter. We find it hard to give ourselves permission to enjoy life since we are so emotionally devastated at being abandoned. It's a cruel punishment for not being wise enough parents and allowing her teenage grudges to snowball into what we are now paying a very steep and soul destroying price for. Since my wife and I are very family oriented, and our daughter has decided to play the victim for so many years, and my wife heavily validated her grudge as a mother will tend to do out of sympathy, I don't blame my wife and just wish we had gotten our kid into some kind of family therapy before she turned 18 and betrayed her mothers trust so utterly and basically went no contact. It is incredible sad to see such a sweet person like my daughter turn into a narcissist against us while being a totally different person with all of her other friends outside. She would not accept any of our advise for her safety, and perceived us as controlling rather than caring. Such zero sum thinking and the blame game and Parental alienation syndrome for me since she played the victim card heavily with her mother. We couldn't see it and just laid low for years. Sad lessons learned. Thanks for reaching out, whenever I type some stuff it helps me purge my sadness a little. When you are a family person, this kills you slowly, since it's hard to even put your heart and soul into work when the main reason you worked all these years is to give your kids everything you didn't have when you were a kid. And then they betray you so utterly. I still have a daughter at home who is witnessing our distraught state, so she is suffering too. I look forward to the day that my estranged daughter agrees to attend Family therapy, but right now she is living her freedom, and we're in the rearview mirror, blind to what is happening with her; which is every parents worst nightmare. Having a tough day today since my wife got a call from our daughter and is unable to even share info with me, but is very upset whatever was said. All I know is that our daughter moved in with some guy who I don't know, and in a not nice neighborhood. What can you actually do in such a situation except worry yourself to death. I am worried sick about my daughter and my wife. Since my wife has had a suicide attempt years ago after being betrayed by her parents and that sadness has never left her. And my wife also had a prescription drug overdose last year, in response to our daughters estrangement as well, but I found her and got her to the hospital in time to save her. So I am just living in fear, unable to do anything about it. What a hell this world can be for chaos kids and those who try and rescue them. Peace people.
 
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#11
This world needs mandatory family dynamic check ins so that parents who come from a chaos dynamic MUST go to a family dynamic specialist. Just like 'at risk' people can't get a drivers license - shouldn't there be some mandatory mental health check up to ensure you have a 'parent' license? The stigma around accessing mental health has to end, this destroys society in fundamental ways I think. Look at the bloody President we have. It starts at home and we need it to call ourselves an advanced society. I wish I was born in the future when humanity has evolved more. If humanity survives that long. Ugh. Even as I write this here, I am ashamed to post it on Facebook since I would be judged. This has to come from the top evolved tiers of society to kill the stigma. I think Joe would do it, given his empathy. So many (every?) root cause of crap in life stems from this stuff.
 
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