I would rather die than to be 'that guy'.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by JimmySand9, May 10, 2012.

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  1. JimmySand9

    JimmySand9 Member

    Everyone has heard the story of someone who loved and lost, and never recovered because they could never find anyone else like them. They just prod along through life wondering what could have been as they sit alone in their studio apartment with no hope of ever finding anyone because they found the one they were destined for, and they were taken away for whatever reason.

    This happened to me, and that kind of life is not acceptable to me. I don't want it to be this way, but this appears to be the only way it can be, and the only way it will ever be. Life has just become to painful, and it's only going to get more painful as the years go on as I see her start a life with that other guy (someone who knew how I felt about her before he even started courting her, someone I thought was my friend) while I can do is watch with no hope of ever recovering because my chance has come and gone, never to repeat itself; and the only help I can hope for is for everyone to tell me contridictions of fact. I can't live this way, I'd rather feel nothing than to feel this way.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sorry you lost the one you loved hun and there is something you CAN do you can go get some help some therpay to help you move forward to help you get out of that islolation ok
    You met one person you can meet another don't wait to much longer hun because it get so hard so much harder each year you don't reach out I am glad you are talking here it helps i hope you continue to reach out hugs
     
  3. JimmySand9

    JimmySand9 Member

    What do you mean 'don't wait much longer'? There's hardly anybody here where I am, and I'm not even going to be here for much longer. I go back to school in a couple of months, and there's hardly anybody there either. If there's a time limit, I'm doomed.
     
  4. thepainwithin

    thepainwithin Well-Known Member

    I feel you, man. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about what could have been, and I hate it. My high school sweet heart and I finally stopped talking 4 years after high school. We weren't together but we still talked. And of course it was my fault, it was always my fault.

    Last year I had a girlfriend for the first time in 4 years. We'd known each other since we were 8 and we dated at 13. When we started talking last year she told me I was the first person she ever loved, that I broke her heart when we were younger and that all her ex boyfriends knew who I was and hated me because I had her heart. I was in like flint right? This girl completely threw herself at me. The first night we hung out she got drunk and ended up in bed asking me if we had to have sex. Like... what??? We didn't because I've never really been with a girl who wanted to have sex. Leave it to me to be awkward, always say the wrong thing, and blow it. Needless to say she broke up with me after 2 weeks, over a text, then when I asked why she had her friend text me and tell me to stop texting her and that she still wanted to be friends. We haven't talked since, although I've tried.

    I've been to 3 different colleges, with 25,000 to 50,000 people and I haven't met one girl. I haven't kissed a girl in 10 months let alone have sex with one. And if it weren't for that 2 week relationship it would've been 2 years and 5 months since I got laid.

    I have no hope in a future with a woman, and God knows I'm most likely gay. There will be no marriage, no kids, and being the only male in the family, the name will end with me. I guess it's for the best though, I do nothing but hurt everyone around me. If you need a bridge burned, hit me up...
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    What i meant is don't keep isolating get out and meet people now ok get some help for you now to get some therapy to help you feel better about yourself
     
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