hi names todd age 19 job military i dotn know where to start because ive never told any1 my crappy life but when i was first born my mom ran off with me and then took me back to my dad when i was in kindergarten becuase i was a problem child my dad araging alcholic racist perfect example of redneck always told me 3 things 1 ya your where planned but not by me 2 quite crying you look like a fagot 3 do you like how you look honestly cause i can tell you now i dont and im your dad... atleast i think so (refering to me being fat) the whole time sucked so bad beig in skool i failed KINDERGARTOON MUTHERF*&^ING KINDERGARTOON!!!!!! my mom was a drugie and a ***** who died when i was 10 and all my dad could say to me is shit happens son. i moved about 13 times so everyyear i moved making no longterm friend and no girlfriends dad was in and out of realtionships a new stepmom like every 2 years each1 didnt like me for some reason and finally when i turned 17 my aunt went to jail for being basically my mom and she left with 4 kids with no1 willling to take care of them 2,3,15, and 17 i told my dad what i was going to do (PS GOT MY G.E.D.) and he throw hes beer bottle at me and told me all the stuff he uasally says and does when he gets drunk and i left to take care of 4 kids working 3 jobs till i turned 18 and joined the navy when my dad droped me off to go to basic all he said was bye fagot. when i graduated he wasnt there and now im deployed over seas checking my email every day and myspace and mailbox in my entire carer ive goten 5 letters 2 from grandpa and 3 from bill collectors. and finally it hits me im the problemi was always a loner underachiever cs at most never good with girls im not gay or anything but it just doesnt seem to work, always get some done great and ill just fuck it up with something else and what makes it so shitty is everyday i go to sleep i cry thinking about how great it would be if i just got in a car today and rame a pol or a truck and got killed i cant describe how shitty i feel seeing other couples ask me to be the 3rd wheel its like the feeling you get when you wake up and its really cold you body just shakes and its horrible i look at my mailbox for 3 hours and all i end up doing is talk to people who i dont knoww whoo spam email cause no1 else will i dont fuck it this is way to long of an intro.