I don't know why I decided to take the time to post here, perhaps its my inner desire in my last moments of my life to share my awful dream that called life with you... I didn't had a sad life, actually my life were very happy in Israel , I had a girlfriend named Natasha and a loving familly, my life were pleasing and I was happier then ever. Untill one mounth ago a car accident changed my life, you could say it has ended my life aswell, cause these moments while I writing this post are my last moments on this cruel world. My brother was driving his van with my whole family in it , 10 people , my mom and dad, my girlfriend, my grandmother and grandfather, my three sisters aged 9 ,6, and the smallest ..1.8. all of my family, every soul which I loved, each human being that I could give my last breath to, died in that cruel senseless accident. our car got crashed from front by a truck, <mod edit> the fucking bastard was wasted and drunk, and got killed aswell. I got hit in the spine, in the face and in my arms, im..i'm not looking as a human- scars all over my face, I could never walk again, and my hands are lookign likea a godamn raw meat!@# Doctors are saying that I was saved by a mircale, well I call it pure punishment, what did I do wrong to get this kind of punishment?! oh how I miss to see my familly again, I just..cant take it no more. I still cant figure the reason why im writing this message, I know I'm gonna die in these next moments, I know I'll see my beautiful little sister smiling at me again at heaven, I'm a jew , and by my religeon if you commit suicide then you go stright to hell, well then..I still going to do it cause I dont believe in god anymore, anything would be better then the poor , miserable exictence ive been living the last mounth, my eyes are filled with liquid tears 24\24 hours a day, I'm completly alone most of the week and I cant sleep or eat, everytime I do I throw up. I have nothing, nothing to live for. Im sorry mother, I know you look down at me right now with harsh feelings and a mad hope that I would not do it, I miss you too much to wait that long alone. אני אוהב אותך אמא Take care people, this would be my only legacy which I leave after me, Drive carefully, and live happily , cause you only understand what you have by loosing it. Alex Krsitefaien.