'Ice on the Lake' ***TRIGGER***

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by curtius, Feb 8, 2006.

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  1. curtius

    curtius Well-Known Member

    DO NOT read this unless you are feeling strong...as I wrote it at my weakest.

    I took a walk around the lake
    To get outside for awhile
    I needed a breath, I needed a break
    Things had started to pile
    I stopped at a ledge, stood on the edge
    And stared into the water
    Murky green, iced, serene
    I felt my foothold falter...
    I wanted to jump into that lake
    I wanted to fall and let it take
    The life within my lungs
    To fall into and breathe it through
    So quiet that none would come
    I wondered if I had the strength
    To suck the murk within
    I wanted to feel the icy grip
    Slip nails into my skin
    I heard some people walk behind me
    I heard them stop and felt them eye me
    The breezes sighed, they walked on by
    I wish that they had grabbed me.
    Why didn't someone stop my stareing?
    Why couldn't someone see me cry?
    Why can't someone just come and hold me?
    No one even tried.
    I felt the wind blow on my face
    I heard the geese fly overhead
    I'm leaping from this lonely place
    To drown until I'm dead.

  2. BrokenPieces

    BrokenPieces Well-Known Member

    This was a great poem, with strong feelings toward what is going on around you.

    Great job!
  3. curtius

    curtius Well-Known Member

    its not what is going on around me it is how I feel now
  4. curtius

    curtius Well-Known Member

    this was my lunch break today
  5. BrokenPieces

    BrokenPieces Well-Known Member

    its amazing how our feelign trigger so many emotions like this...I know its how you feel...

    my response was solely based now what i thought it was. My response are usually like that.

    I hope you will check out my poetry thread! i would like some feedback from a writer like yourself.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    :hug: thanks for sharing!
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