I'd commit suicide but I have too much to do

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Danialla, May 1, 2015.

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  1. Danialla

    Danialla Well-Known Member

    I have ECT every 2 weeks and lately it doesn't seem to be working. I see my psychiatrist when I get ECT, but am only able to say I'm doing "good thank you". I haven't had an appt with him since November of 2014. My Dr is so nice I hate to tell him I am struggling again. I am thinking about suicide all the time again and have stocked up enough meds to make a real attempt, but I'm too damn busy and responsible. I am busy at my job. I have a lot of responsibility to my family (MIL lives with us). I hate everything, myself, my life, my future......everything.

    Thank you for listening.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hello Danialla,

    Regardless of how nice your doctor is you need to tell him what is really on your mind, he won't mind, that's what he is there for, to help you! I've heard mixed reviews about ECT. I would be afraid to try it myself to be honest. I think you just need to open up and be honest, tell him what's not working and hopefully ye can devise a plan to make you better again and make life more tolerable for you.

    If you ever need to talk feel free to contact me!
     
  3. Hi Danialla,
    I'm sorry that you are having such a horrible time. I know what it feels like to hate everything and to just want to be dead, but I can tell you, from personal experience, that things can get better. I was very fortunate that ECT was very helpful in getting my depression under control. There are treatment options for those who do not respond to ECT (eg. Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation), but your doctor will not be able to offer other treatment measures if he does not know that your current treatment is not helping you. I hope that you continue to find the strength to battle your depression and find the treatment that works for you.
     
  4. Corey1221

    Corey1221 Active Member

    I know the feeling when you want to be honest with your counseling or doctor but just end up telling them you're fine because they're friendly. I've wasted too much time when I needed help ignoring how I felt inside, you'll be better off just telling the truth even if it's hard to do.
     
  5. Danialla

    Danialla Well-Known Member

    Thank you everyone. I know I should tell him what I am feeling, but there are so many people around when I have ECT. I think I will make an appointment....I hope.
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You are welcome and best of luck to you, be sure to let us know and keep us updated on your progress. :hug2:
     
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