I think I've had a mental breakdown after years of unhappiness, I am in all kinds of head pains now 24/7 even tho I'm on medication... Going to scan for a brain tumor or hemorrhage or w/e... But I guess that's because of the state I'm in mentally, I'm just 20 years old but I feel like there is nothing for me in life, nothing gives me any joy, especially now since I am in these head pains. I tried to get a girlfriend so maybe that would make my life more bearable but that didn't work out either so now I'm just thinking- Fuck it, I want to quit life, I want out of here,- life is just a pain for me now and it hasn't been good at any point in my life... I really feel like I don't have anything to live for anymore, and nobody would care if I died anyway since nobody cares about me... not even myself. But at the end of the day I'm still a human being and am completely frightened of suicide and I have never tried it tho I have seriously thought about it. Don't even know how I would do it if I decide so.