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I'd love all your random or not so random thoughts

Innocent Forever

Still innocent!
SF Supporter
#1
It's funny how random people I meet seem to treat me. Are they just flirting? And if they are, why?

I went out just before we began isolating.

Shop 1: oh, I met you last time, how are you? Where do you live? Just talking to me etc and trying to keep me talking to him. He looked about 35. Although I'm 26 enough people ask me for my ID still and ask if I'm 18.

Shop 2: The guy asked me to stay and talk to him after I'd said hello, gotten what I was buying, and was leaving.

Shop 3: The guy was really nice to me. He told me
The guy told the woman behind me, you see, she gets VIP service....


That was that day. Another day I was in a different town and met a guy whilst I was in my car by a canal. The traffic warden it might be called. He was talking to me. Told me he moved there because there's less discrimination and when he taught in school there was some (he's black). Before he left he asked me if we could meet next time I come just for coffee. He said not as a date. He was 50 something. I told him no. I remember our conversation though I can't recall his name.

It's just a bit weird.

Unless they're trying to flirt? I don't know what flirting looks like. Or really means if I'm honest.

This is in the rants thread but instead I'm going to post it as a thread. As I'd really love some thoughts.
 
#3
It has been a long (looooooooong) time since I had to deal with that (I'm male, incidentally). When I did, I answered "Thank you. I'm flattered, but not interested."
 
#5
Oh, my!!! ;) just kidding— (I’m going to take the top / first chunk to begin with & then read the rest, if I have anything further to add: you can bet I probably will!) ;)

1st guy — seems innocent enough on the surface. Though of course it would always be nice to get context of things, with respect to temperature in the room - of the air, so to speak (the overall, or general “vibe!”) -temperament, & etc. :)

2nd one - holy frick!! No - on this one, I’m heavily leaning towards the unsettling / uncomfortable side of things with the whole “why don’t you stay later for some extra credit kind of a thing, or whatever it was that was being implied?” Dunno if he was just looking for some extra company, as in companionship ( because he found you to be so fascinating a personality?) but either way or in any case it is obviously highly inappropriate in a work setting to cross that boundary and ask a customer to do something like this (be a friend, or who knows what he had going through his mind?) maybe he was “innocent!” As well... though it’s sounding less like it & more like he’d had an “agenda,” unless I’m - “seeing what I want to see?” (Which, I don’t even know what that would be . . . Honestly, InnO!) ;^)

And behind. Bachelor #3! :^)
Ahhh....! Again — could mean multiple things depending on ‘intent,’ & interpretation et cetera (or context of situation). Was he joking? Was he being weird! Is he sarcastic- usually it pays to know someone first, so you can best tell when they’re fooling around (as it can make a big difference when you think someone is being one way - & they’re not!)... : ) my initial read is that he’s rather inappropriate here - but again, it all depends on what he meant? VIP service could mean a sweet & friendly smile (with a wink to boot!). . . Or it could be something more sexually suggestive. Which would be completely overtly other worldly in nature - in terms of “tone,” & things like that... so to speak! :^)
Hope that helps— (sure like all the rest of my advice, it probably doesn’t!) HA 😅
 
#6
Tell the last guy, you’ll only consider it if it can be “live-streamed,” on all your available social media platforms! ; ) with - or “without!” (His consent..;)) And then we’ll see just how much of an ‘innocent,’ friendship he was looking to strike up! Perhaps it was just that. . . Perhaps 🤔 not— ;)
 

Innocent Forever

Still innocent!
SF Supporter
#9
Oh, my!!! ;) just kidding— (I’m going to take the top / first chunk to begin with & then read the rest, if I have anything further to add: you can bet I probably will!) ;)

1st guy — seems innocent enough on the surface. Though of course it would always be nice to get context of things, with respect to temperature in the room - of the air, so to speak (the overall, or general “vibe!”) -temperament, & etc. :)

2nd one - holy frick!! No - on this one, I’m heavily leaning towards the unsettling / uncomfortable side of things with the whole “why don’t you stay later for some extra credit kind of a thing, or whatever it was that was being implied?” Dunno if he was just looking for some extra company, as in companionship ( because he found you to be so fascinating a personality?) but either way or in any case it is obviously highly inappropriate in a work setting to cross that boundary and ask a customer to do something like this (be a friend, or who knows what he had going through his mind?) maybe he was “innocent!” As well... though it’s sounding less like it & more like he’d had an “agenda,” unless I’m - “seeing what I want to see?” (Which, I don’t even know what that would be . . . Honestly, InnO!) ;^)

And behind. Bachelor #3! :^)
Ahhh....! Again — could mean multiple things depending on ‘intent,’ & interpretation et cetera (or context of situation). Was he joking? Was he being weird! Is he sarcastic- usually it pays to know someone first, so you can best tell when they’re fooling around (as it can make a big difference when you think someone is being one way - & they’re not!)... : ) my initial read is that he’s rather inappropriate here - but again, it all depends on what he meant? VIP service could mean a sweet & friendly smile (with a wink to boot!). . . Or it could be something more sexually suggestive. Which would be completely overtly other worldly in nature - in terms of “tone,” & things like that... so to speak! :^)
Hope that helps— (sure like all the rest of my advice, it probably doesn’t!) HA 😅
They were all innocent! The first 2 weren't wanting more than to talk. The third didn't even have time to talk to me. He was like that with all the people in the shop, only slightly more looking after me.

Tell the last guy, you’ll only consider it if it can be “live-streamed,” on all your available social media platforms! ; ) with - or “without!” (His consent..;)) And then we’ll see just how much of an ‘innocent,’ friendship he was looking to strike up! Perhaps it was just that. . . Perhaps 🤔 not— ;)
The last guy has no social media and no friends to spend time with. So yes to innocent. He just wanted to meet ho next time I came for town for coffee.

I just found it funny to have 3 guys in the same day... I'm used to it.

It wasn't creepy. I was once creeped out by someone and when I asked others about it, they said he was flirting with me - and it seems like me being myself back and responding may be the cause, dunno. I was uncomfortable with him.

Here the 3 guys. I was comfortable with the 1st and 3rd guy who remembered me but not so comfortable with the second who wanted me to stay and chat. The last guy in the other town I was also comfortable with.

So I guess if I'm uncomfortable means something about what they want. Maybe?
 

Human Ex Machinae

Void Where Prohibited
#10
I gave up trying to figure out if people are flirting with me or not years ago, and gave up trying not to appear as if I'm flirting. Flirting is totally in the eye of the beholder. I've been accused of flirting by doing something as basic as asking a new female co-worker what her name is, and not long ago at work I was talking to a young woman who'd walked up to me and started asking me questions, and then after, her dad came over and said, 'Hey, that's my daughter' shaking his finger at me. He said it in a joking way, but he was clearly 'warning me off'. What was I supposed to do, turn my back and shout, "Go away! I can't speak to you!":D
 
#12
@Innocent Forever
Got it! ;) now I sound / feel like the bulldog of a dad, or something—overbearing protector; admittedly, I don’t quite know what to make of your last line - which I shall quote her (or try to!) :)


So I guess if I'm uncomfortable means something about what they want. Maybe?”

sometimes guys — especially if they’re on the older side & come from a different generation and everything. . . They may tend to have a way of taking to younger women in particular, that is meant (in their eyes), to be playful & fun. And not intentionally distasteful; or in poor taste, though I suppose it could come across as being talked down to a bit. But it’s almost like a term of endearment, in the way that they try to make it light & fun with you. And they do this (or attempt to) by making sometimes subtle, sometimes not so / sometimes funny / sometimes not / kind of depends on the person; their ingenuity, wit & of course timing & delivery (which in comedy can be everything!). : )
So they may very well have meant well & were just making small talk, in the way that they know how - or is considered, if not professional, appropriate in their given setting / environment, this case it sounds like stores were all involved. And so that type of place, is going to lend itself to a certain kind of environment with a certain kind of banter. I’m guessing they were trying to be generous by being flattering to show you how sweet and nice you were. Also qualities that can be taken advantage of in the wrong hands (say like with predators), but that’s a topic - for another day! ;) ✌️ peace ☺️😊❣️💕💞💜
 
#13
Ok 👍 now I think 🤔 I know what you mean (by that last line) ✅ & yup- could be! . . :^))
Next time —Try not to take it so literally...:)
It could be more like a matter of speech or an expression, such as, or like ... “how are you doing today?” When someone says this to you in a casual setting like a friendly style greeting, they don’t actually mean that they want you to open up to the truth if that statement is much longer than, “fine! And how are you?” ...(or), “Great! And yourself—..;)
More sort of like, how’s the weather. . : )
 

Innocent Forever

Still innocent!
SF Supporter
#16
Nah. I was just wondering why it always happens to me. Was bringing examples just to showcase what I mean. It's not always flirting. I'm friends with the security guards (females), the handyman.

In a way it's ironic how I can talk so easily to strangers but not people I know.
 

Auri

🎸🎼Rock Star🎼🎸
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#18
Doubt it. I'm much younger and there were other people around.
Age doesn't matter to everyone, just saying. :p
Now I'm glad you look like you're 18 or older.
Nah. I was just wondering why it always happens to me. Was bringing examples just to showcase what I mean. It's not always flirting. I'm friends with the security guards (females), the handyman.

In a way it's ironic how I can talk so easily to strangers but not people I know.
Well, some people like to talk to strangers just for a friendly moment, it happens to everyone who goes outside a little. More rarely, they want to make friends. And I wouldn't reject the flirting possibility, even when it seems innocent.
Perhaps you project a friendly "aura" yourself (metaphorically). :)
 

Innocent Forever

Still innocent!
SF Supporter
#19
@Innocent Forever have you ever heard of mirror neurons? i wonder if that concept may be at play for some of the situations you describe.
What does that mean?

Age doesn't matter to everyone, just saying. :p
Now I'm glad you look like you're 18 or older.

Well, some people like to talk to strangers just for a friendly moment, it happens to everyone who goes outside a little. More rarely, they want to make friends. And I wouldn't reject the flirting possibility, even when it seems innocent.
Perhaps you project a friendly "aura" yourself (metaphorically). :)
The last point, I'm sure I do. To strangers anyways :)
 

Ash600

Of dust and shadows
SF Creative
SF Supporter
#20
Maybe in the majority of cases your friendliness made it easier for them to engage in conversation which at times might have slipped in flirtatious behavior, be it intentional or unintentional.
 

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