I'd rather be dead than a slave

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by outsidethecage, Dec 27, 2007.

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  1. This world is nothing but lies and disguises. I'll never be free. No one understands because they're ignorant or they just don't want to. I simply can't close my eyes to things.

    Every time I think about it I seriously want to die.
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Welcome to the forum. I hope you will find out that not everyone is false and full of lies. When you are more comfortable with us, perhaps you will share a bit more.
  3. Nocturnal Ponderer

    Nocturnal Ponderer Well-Known Member

    Hey, your gripe sounds like mine. clicky for a full and frank analysis of my feelings on this, and see if you can relate.

    Despite my emotion filled dribblings, today I realised that not everybody is fake. Not everybody is about falsehoods.

    There are some (and I do place emphasis on the word "some") people where truth is ALL that matters to them and snub the bullshit.

    They do exist. I am one of them. My best friend is another. None of my previous girlfriends were, much to my disappointment. But it was my disappointment because life hadn't dished out what I wanted. But why the fuck should it every time I want it to? The very fact I was born into a peaceful democratic country with the freedom of expression is something going my way. The fact I have eyesight is something that is going my way. Not having a particular girlfriend, or not coming across real people very often just "is". From time to time there will be the odd one or two real people who are not all about lies and disguises. Not everybody has the strength to be real, instead preferring lies to be accepted. Most fall into this trap, and there are others ready to play on it and exploit it. Just remain true to yourself and never give in to them. There are people that feel like you do.

    Remember, there are tons and tons of things that are going your way and somewhere, in some far off corner, there is exactly what you're looking for. Just give everybody a chance and eventually you will come across one or two people who are aware of the lies and shit and they will be true people. Just be vigilant, careful and somewhat guarded initially. Trust takes a long time to build on.
  4. jonstark

    jonstark Well-Known Member

    Nocturnal Ponderer, I read your thread and I agree with much of what you and outsidethecage say. Many things around me feel horribly fake. The fundamental principles behind society feel superficial and ridiculous to me. Even the things that are supposed to be against sociery (anarchism, nihilism) feel stupid and lame.
    Suicide certainly quickly sticks in one's head as a way out of this madness. The reason to stay is the search for those vestiges of truth and purity that we see at the corners of our eyes and hope to some day ensnare and perhaps enjoy. But it's not easy living on mere hope.
  5. Nocturnal Ponderer

    Nocturnal Ponderer Well-Known Member

    Sometimes I feel a perfect way out other than suicide would be to grow dreadlocks, build natural dwellings in a forest, walk barefooted, grow my own veg, light my own fires, and live in a community of like minded folk who want out of our urban society.
    I think todays urban rat race society which rewards you on your appearance and academic achievement is highly un-natural and we are not adapting too well.

    And yes, anarchism does seem stupid and lame. It is a knee jerk reaction and an immature ideal. An apparent solution. But full time anarchy would bring society to its knees as it would become elitist, and have different factions etc. Looks good on paper, but so did communism. Put human behaviour, ego and human nature into any equation and you will get the same result. Chaos, differences and hierachy.

    Todays model is only a concept. Consumerism and appearences.
    "Buy this, it will make you happy"
    "Happiness can be yours for just £9.99 per month"
    "Give us yer fucking money"

    Yesterdays society was based on a concept just as false as todays consumerism. Morals and family values. Again, just a concept. A lie. I think many suffered in silence during the Victorian era throuh absolute fear of ostracisation.
    I just wonder how many Victorian men taught their daughters the virtue of chastity, and then toddled off down to the brothel later that day to recieve oral sex from a 12 year old prostitute.

    Before that it was modelled on religion, just a concept, a lie. How many "heretics" died for refusing to believe in whatever the hell these deluded masses "believed" in?

    In my very personal opinion, I think a complete return to nature, and a respect for nature, is perhaps one of the few saviours. But it cannot be implemented. That would mean back-tracking on all technological advances, including the internet, hospitals and those mechanical USB wanking hands that somebody from the other side of the world can so generously control. Now I aint giving that up for nobody! ! !
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 28, 2007
  6. ChillCash

    ChillCash Active Member

    I've been planning to "take a trip into nature and never come back" for a couple years now. Totally leaving everything behind me; my horrible parents whom I still live with (19), my cheerful outgoing college, and my so-called friend. I've always had the idea, but not the courage or motivation to go up and do it. After reading Into the Wild I found out after a lot of research that there ARE people like you and me out there, but they may just be as helpless as you think you are. As days go past the idea keeps coming stronger and stronger in me and I feel that one day Ill be able to leave society, without having to kill myself. I wouldn't want them to win by killing myself.
  7. You know, you guys are right. The world would win if I killed myself. I might not be able to change the way things are but I have to try to make things right with the people I know.

    Besides, even though I suck, I like myself too much to actually kill myself.
  8. Barbados

    Barbados Well-Known Member

    Same, it makes me fucking hate humanity how ignorant most of them are and turn a blind eye whenever they see fit.
  9. emptytank

    emptytank Active Member

    Regarding the prevalence of "fakeness" in the world, I would much rather come across a so-called "fake" person than encounter more shallow, snobby, hateful, judgmental, elitist people who constitute a majority in today's superficial society. While I won't get my hopes up on developing a meaningful relationship with a "fake" person, I am able to tolerate his or her presence a lot more than I can tolerate "Miss I'm Too Good For You" types.
  10. I don't think I'm better than anyone else. I'm not "too good" to hang out with anyone, regardless of what color they are, how educated they are, or how much money they have. One of my closest friends is a homeless guy, literally. He was an orphan who got dealt a bad hand and ran away from his foster parents when he was young. He's been struggling to survive ever since and is one of the toughest and smartest people I know but people treat him like garbage because he has no money and he smells bad. I like him because he appreciates everything he has, which isn't a lot, and he enjoys life in ways some people just don't understand.

    No. What I can't stand is people who don't THINK. People who just take and take and take from the world without a thought to giving anything back. People who don't care who has to suffer so they can have their diamonds and gold. So they can drive their big fuel-ineffecient tanks around. So they can have their 99 cent cheeseburger RIGHT NOW without even getting their bloated ass out of their car. People who never question the insustainable and destructive lifestyle to which they've grown accostumed. People who assume that everything is just the way it appears, who swallow propaganda whole.

    Open your eyes. Ignorance kills...and not just you.

    If that sounds like an "elitist" attitude them so be it. Call me stuck-up if you want. I'm NOT sorry.
  11. Darken

    Darken Well-Known Member

    Yeah I feel the same way. Humans are destroying the planet, we take so much from it and don't give much back. We are being controlled by elites like a oligarchy and they do evil things. Most people for what ever reason cannot see it, or are too apathetic and lazy to do any thing about it. Seems like the only thing that has improved in the world is technology, society is mostly still shit.
  12. emptytank

    emptytank Active Member

    Umm, I wasn't referring to YOU as elitist and stuck-up. I was comparing those who are nice in a fake way to those who are unabashedly rude and snobby.
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