I've been down now for 10 months. I never drink, Couple weeks ago i was invited by an old friend to go out and i got wasted. Then for about a week after my confidence level was through the roof. But all i wanted to do was drink. It started to drop. So i went out to a fire with a friend and drank again last night and it was high again. But tonight it crashed again. I find myself working as much as i can (7 days a week 10+ hours a day), Just so i don't have to be alone at home. I only live about an hour from my family but no one comes to visit. I just don't understand why i can't stay happy? I went through a break up about a year ago, I haven't been with someone since because i've been working so much. I tried using dating apps but I'll type a message and i can never get myself to hit send. I'll either delete it all and back out or just end up writing "Hey" and they never reply. I would love to be married someday, But i cannot seem to trust anyone. When i think about being with a girl, I think about when, When will she leave, Or Cheat. I never show i don't trust them, I act as i do. But that's all i think about. I find myself staying up all night and sleeping till i have to get ready for work. I try to ask myself why i feel this way but i don't know? I have lost all interest in what i liked to do. I was working on some crappy computer games for 3 years, But now i haven't touched them in 7 months. How do i boost my confidence and get rid of my anxiety and stress?