Idk...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by RememberWhen, Jul 18, 2016.

  1. RememberWhen

    RememberWhen New Member

    I've been down now for 10 months. I never drink, Couple weeks ago i was invited by an old friend to go out and i got wasted. Then for about a week after my confidence level was through the roof. But all i wanted to do was drink. It started to drop. So i went out to a fire with a friend and drank again last night and it was high again. But tonight it crashed again.
    I find myself working as much as i can (7 days a week 10+ hours a day), Just so i don't have to be alone at home. I only live about an hour from my family but no one comes to visit.

    I just don't understand why i can't stay happy? I went through a break up about a year ago, I haven't been with someone since because i've been working so much. I tried using dating apps but I'll type a message and i can never get myself to hit send. I'll either delete it all and back out or just end up writing "Hey" and they never reply. I would love to be married someday, But i cannot seem to trust anyone. When i think about being with a girl, I think about when, When will she leave, Or Cheat. I never show i don't trust them, I act as i do. But that's all i think about.

    I find myself staying up all night and sleeping till i have to get ready for work. I try to ask myself why i feel this way but i don't know? I have lost all interest in what i liked to do. I was working on some crappy computer games for 3 years, But now i haven't touched them in 7 months.

    How do i boost my confidence and get rid of my anxiety and stress?
     
  2. RememberWhen

    RememberWhen New Member

    I should add. When I do start talking to someone. It's always great! at first. Then no matter how beautiful she may be. Even if everyone else thinks they are. I start picking apart their flaws (in my head) until I feel like I no longer like them and then they start annoying me. And I feel like I no longer want to talk anymore.

    I've always been similar to this way. In all of my past relationships. I have stages. Te first stage. Is when we meet and start talking. I obviously like them. Then I get to the stage where I feel like I don't like them anymore. I pick apart all their flaws in my head. But then I fall madly in love all at once.
     
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there I am not sure what to advise but I wanted to say not all girls will cheat on you, there are girls out there that would but please don't paint us all with the one brush. Trust is crucial in any relationship and I hope you do find someone, use the dating apps and find someone who is similar to you. Not liking the things you used to is a classic sign of depression, please see your doctor if you haven't already. Best of luck to you! Do not give up on hope!