Idk.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by flowerpot, Jan 13, 2008.

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  1. flowerpot

    flowerpot Well-Known Member

    I haven't made a post in a while. This is probably pointless because it's just me complaining and I'm not going to get anywhere by doing so but oh well. I feel alone. I won't use fancy words to show just how alone. I just feel alone. I don't feel like I belong on this planet. I never really have, but at the moment, that feeling is ten times worse. I don't feel that I can be happy hear. Maybe happy for an hour, but never truly happy. I feel so wrong realising I hardly smile, and may not smile for weeks at a time, or laugh, or just feel happy or okay. I know there's probably a million other people out there who feel that way, but what difference does that make? That just makes me feel worse. I hate the thought of others feeling shit. I have no life, and at the moment, I feel so alone that I feel that I have no friends either. I don't really have any real ones. I have a couple I guess but, none are really the kind of friendship I'd like. Thoughts from the past have recently all come back to make me feel crap all over again. Knowing I'll never talk to the person I love and I'm certain I will love forever, again. I don't think it's going to heal. I never will heal because something new will always come along, or the past just comes back. I don't have much to live for. I really just feel like dying. I'm not going to, because I never will. Well I hope I do one day, but I'm too weak to do it myself, even if it's what I truly want. I don't understand why people have to live with this? Why is there no cure to feeling horrible. I just hate life.
     
  2. titanic

    titanic Well-Known Member

    It's probably not much of a comfort for you to hear this right now, but don't give up hope, there's always hope (((hugs)))
     
  3. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    :arms: Is there any way at all you can contact this person you love? If you are struggling to move on, have you considered speaking to someone about it?

    If you ever want a friend, you are more than welcome to PM me and I'd be willing to talk to you. I know it's online and not face to face but at the end of the day I'm still a human. Of course, it's up to you, but the offer is always there.

    Take care of yourself.
     
  4. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Don't give up. Life may seem like a nightmare but all it takes is one person or a turn in fortune.
     
  5. flowerpot

    flowerpot Well-Known Member

    I can't contact him, that's the thing. :'( I've tried and tried. It's a long complicated story. He's never coming back, and I have to somehow find a way to live with that, and I don't think I can. I got my hopes up last night because I thought of ways I could try to find him, but nothing helped. I'll never talk to him again.. I'll just have to hate life I guess.
     
  6. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    You can get over this. Time will help, acceptence is also a key to healing.
     
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