Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Spearmint, Apr 7, 2008.

  1. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    I'm feeling so down recently, but I have no idea why.
    Seriously, I have no reason to be depressed, at all.
    I was out all day Saturday, I'm going to be out all day today, then Tuesday, then Thursday, then Friday, then Saturday, probably Sunday, too.
    With friends all the time.
    Why the fuck am I feeling so bad if I'm going to hang out with my best friends all week?
    I'm turning sixteen this week, I should be ecstatic, but I'm not, what the fuck?
    These are supposed to be the 'years of my life,' or whatever, but they aren't.
    I haven't cut in like..three weeks, maybe? And yet I feel the need to do it. I feel the need to cut my arm into pieces, and I hate that feeling. The feeling of needing to see myself bleed.
    Just when I was finally starting to feel better, I feel worse, and I have no idea why.
    I just don't know.
  2. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni


    Sucks to hear that you're feeling so down at the moment. :sad: I totally understand that you're confused about the reasoning behind it. That happens to me a lot - I start feeling really down and then i stop and think 'Why am i feeling like this?" There is a simple answer - sometimes there is no speicific reason! Sometimes we are just feeling down and that's what makes this illness so difficult - it's unpredictable and frustrating! So what we have to do is stop looking behind us for the answer, stop dwelling on what may not even be there. You might not be able to stop these feelings from taking over you in the future, but you can learn ways to deal with the feelings so the effact is not so crippling. There are lots of useful resourceses out there - make good use of them!

    By the way, congrats on not cutting for 3 weeks - you're a superstar! You've come this far, that proves that you're strong enough to keep going!

    Love loooooooooots

    Shaunaface xo
  3. jonstark

    jonstark Well-Known Member

    I have the same, Jess.
    (Almost) Everything seems to be going great, except I feel like hell.
    Idk x2.
  4. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    Thanks, Shaunaface, Jonface. xx <3
  5. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    Shauna's worded it perfectly, Jess, I couldn't have said it any better, so I'm just going to say that I agree with Shauna's post.

    You know where to reach me if you want to talk, okay? :hug: :hug:

  6. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Yep like shauna said, it's the damn depression and mental health issues. They have a life and time schedule all their own. And nothing you are going to do can change when it's going to happen. But you can change how you look at it and feel about it. Be strong jess, you'll ride this one out. Glad you have your friends to help keep you on a "good" path and you're not alone being swallowed up in this. You have shown yourself just how strong you really are with not cutting for 3 weeks. Pull on that strength to get you through this too!!!
  7. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    Thanks Est, Carla. <3 :hug: