ugh.. so I'm a demon.. I got out of the hospital 2 days ago and seems I'm worse off now then b4 going in. Ive came back to SF and my friends are all in bad spots and suicidal.. maybe dead. My boyfriend in NY has been sick.. Just to start. I got home and my "friends" stole some of my stuff and some of my food.. And I'm flat broke and low on food now. The reason I went in last time was because of my PTSD. It makes me both homicidal and suicidal.. and EXTREMELY impulsive.. as well as some physical pain I had been having that somehow magically disappeared and duno what the hell it was.. I hardly sleep with all the nightmares of childhood and PTSD crap. My parents only trigger my PTSD so I'm COMPLETELY alone. (besides my cat) And yea.. life SUCKS! :blub: I have a few methods in mind but.. I just duno.. and I don't wanna go back to ER were my PTSD WORSE and there is MORE SHIT! Anyway.. ugh.. I just need to wait till my PTSD kicks in enough so I just do it impulsively. I have everything ready.. just waiting for the moment to spur.