idk..

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Kiba, Dec 22, 2010.

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  1. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    ugh.. so I'm a demon.. I got out of the hospital 2 days ago and seems I'm worse off now then b4 going in.

    Ive came back to SF and my friends are all in bad spots and suicidal.. maybe dead. My boyfriend in NY has been sick.. Just to start.

    I got home and my "friends" stole some of my stuff and some of my food.. And I'm flat broke and low on food now.

    The reason I went in last time was because of my PTSD. It makes me both homicidal and suicidal.. and EXTREMELY impulsive.. as well as some physical pain I had been having that somehow magically disappeared and duno what the hell it was..

    I hardly sleep with all the nightmares of childhood and PTSD crap.

    My parents only trigger my PTSD so I'm COMPLETELY alone. (besides my cat)

    And yea.. life SUCKS! :blub:

    I have a few methods in mind but.. I just duno.. and I don't wanna go back to ER were my PTSD WORSE and there is MORE SHIT!

    Anyway.. ugh.. I just need to wait till my PTSD kicks in enough so I just do it impulsively. I have everything ready.. just waiting for the moment to spur. :(
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    :hug: Did they give you any advice when you were in the hospital, on what you can do or how to handle your PTSD?

    Here if you need anything.
     
  3. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    no.. they just said "we dont deal with long term ptsd in the hospitals, but we are still gona keep you here for a week"
     
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Wow, way to NOT be helpful!! :( Are there therapists or counselors who specialize in helping with PTSD?
     
  5. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    yea.. asked my therapist for a specific PTSD councilor and she said there werent any in her program and that I could just continue with her...
     
  6. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I wonder if it's something you could research online, to try and find someone who might be able to help. Just because there are none in her program, doesn't mean she should refuse to help you find someone.
     
  7. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    I think she wants me to just stay with her.. she told me she would see me more often or something.. duno.. ugh.. got some food from pantry but eh.. I just feel worthless as hell still :blub:
     
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