Just.. depressed.. idk.. birthday wasn't that great.. not that it really is any year.. I also had a small amount of weed.. tho I haven't really smoked weed too much. I know it makes me depressed. Don't know why I smoked it tonight.. Oh well.. My mind is just.. repeating.. "Just kill me..." Even tho I really don't want to die. Seems anytime now that things get overwhelming or hard to deal with my mind automatically repeats that.. No matter of I'm really suicidal or not. Maybe it's just chronic.. idk.. Think I'm glad my birthday is over.. :badday: Wish there was really anything I could say I wanted.. At the moment all I feel is really depressed.. I wish I knew what else to put here.. but for the moment I'm so depressed I'm not even really wanting to even write this.. Just want to sit I guess..