If i die, all of this will go away. It will finally be over...

iloverachel

An outcast, forgotten and excluded by society
#1
I will no longer have to look in the mirror and see my ugly self
I will no longer feel like a failure
I will no longer try and figure why my brother and father no longer speak to me
I will no longer miss my 2 dogs
I will no longer cry over Rachel
I will no longer about being practically disabled and uemployed
I will no longer have to worry about homelessness
I will no longer be stuck in my room with no friends to hang out
I will no longer think i have nothing to look forward to
I will see my close friend and grandparents and aunty in heaven (or not)
I will no longer suffer unbearable panic attacks wherever i leave home
All the feeling of anger, sadness, fear, jealousy, resentment, hopelessness will disappear

Suffer all of these problems for another 50 years, or be at peace

Man i feel like such a loser begging for sympathy writing that, because many others have it worse

Anyway none of this matters, i will certainly die soon

Love you guys. You guys understand and tried your best to help me. This is not a note. I will definitely be alive for a while still
 

iloverachel

An outcast, forgotten and excluded by society
#3
It's ok to say whatever you feel here. This is what SF is for.

It also doesn't matter if anyone else has it worse. Posting here doesn't take anything away from anyone else.
Thank you
Here is the only place i can really express myself, and my therapists
 

Mymindsmine

Well-Known Member
#4
I will no longer have to look in the mirror and see my ugly self
I will no longer feel like a failure
I will no longer try and figure why my brother and father no longer speak to me
I will no longer miss my 2 dogs
I will no longer cry over Rachel
I will no longer about being practically disabled and uemployed
I will no longer have to worry about homelessness
I will no longer be stuck in my room with no friends to hang out
I will no longer think i have nothing to look forward to
I will see my close friend and grandparents and aunty in heaven (or not)
I will no longer suffer unbearable panic attacks wherever i leave home
All the feeling of anger, sadness, fear, jealousy, resentment, hopelessness will disappear

Suffer all of these problems for another 50 years, or be at peace

Man i feel like such a loser begging for sympathy writing that, because many others have it worse

Anyway none of this matters, i will certainly die soon

Love you guys. You guys understand and tried your best to help me. This is not a note. I will definitely be alive for a while still
How about changing all the I will no longer to I will help others to get through all the I will nots? All those things above are painful issues and I get that bit the reality is no your right you won’t feel any of it because you won’t feel anything . You will have gone and left us all with the same concerns and fears with no hope : what if we all who feel like you check out. What have we learnt what have we changed nothing !!! What a waste .... please understand that everything you have said is your reality I get that . But you can change that menu right? You can heal and you can not be that person xxxxx life was a gift to you please make it count . Make your journey count .. be the one who shows others the answer to all the above . Don’t give up , don’t let life drag you to this.
 

Mymindsmine

Well-Known Member
#5
I no longer have to look in the mirror and see my ugly self = I will continue to look at myself and love who I am and what I stand for?
I will no longer feel like a failure. I who’s opinion no one that matters so fuxk em?
I will no longer try and figure why my brother and father no longer speak to me? There loss!
I will no longer miss my 2 dogs yes you will and they I’ll miss you..
I will no longer cry over Rachel. No but then you can do that alive .
I will no longer about being practically disabled and uemployed. But there are routes to not being in this situation and I will help you !
I will no longer have to worry about homelessness. There are options
I will no longer be stuck in my room with no friends to hang out . But at least you be in a room not homeless.
I will no longer think i have nothing to look forward to. Find something to look forward to
I will see my close friend and grandparents and aunty in heaven (or not) but they not ready to see you
I will no longer suffer unbearable panic attacks wherever i leave home. But this can be changed
All the feeling of anger, sadness, fear, jealousy, resentment, hopelessness will disappear turn this into a resilience and power

Suffer all of these problems for another 50 years, or be at peace. Yes for another 50 precious years because it won’t last this long . I promise

Man i feel like such a loser begging for sympathy writing that, because many others have it worse your not a loser your just human with feelings and needs xxxxx

Anyway none of this matters, i will certainly die soon

Love you guys. You guys understand and tried your best to help me. This is not a note. I will definitely be alive for a while still[/QUOTE]
I will no longer have to look in the mirror and see my ugly self
I will no longer feel like a failure
I will no longer try and figure why my brother and father no longer speak to me
I will no longer miss my 2 dogs
I will no longer cry over Rachel
I will no longer about being practically disabled and uemployed
I will no longer have to worry about homelessness
I will no longer be stuck in my room with no friends to hang out
I will no longer think i have nothing to look forward to
I will see my close friend and grandparents and aunty in heaven (or not)
I will no longer suffer unbearable panic attacks wherever i leave home
All the feeling of anger, sadness, fear, jealousy, resentment, hopelessness will disappear

Suffer all of these problems for another 50 years, or be at peace
 

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