If I died I'd be happy

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by morning rush, Dec 18, 2009.

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  1. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    If I died all this bullshit would stop...my family are so inconciderate, all they care about is themselves, and make sure that I feel guilty for everything...its not enough to say I might come and that I will call...nooooo they gotta ram it in...

    if I was dead, they couldn't attack me anymore....it wouldn't hurt me anymore...it would be pointless for them...

    and don't none of yall start saying oh your poor family, it will break their hearts etc...they don't give a shit how I feel alive...why should I care about how they feel if I'm dead and happy...I think I come first...everyone else seems to think they come first...I'm sooo mad beyond belief...I want to die a violent death...<Mod Edit, WildCherry: Graphic>and all my possessions donated to charity...NOTHING TO THE FAMILY!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 18, 2009
  2. suzy

    suzy Well-Known Member

    i havent

    i have never said anything about your family

    i feel you're the most important person cause you care about people

    its written by you a few times how you care about the people in the outside world

    the loss would be something if you were gone something that would be hard to think about


    since there arent a lot of nice people in the world...world seems sort of mean to me

    please try to stay safe ana...you are loved and loving yourself is the next big thing in your life...but its a long way down the road from here
    please contact me you know i care
    sorry i cant correct this before posting
     
  3. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    Ok if it's like that you should leave your family or prepare to leave them, don't let them bring you down, if they don't care about you they're not your life. Fuck them. Is there anybody close to you who can help you?
     
  4. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    How do you know you would be happy in death? Who's to say death isn't twice as bad as living? We know nothing about death or what it feels like nor what happens. You really can't know if it will be better than living or not. Suicide is a permanent solution a temporary problem. They won't always be there to make your life miserable, so hang in there and strive for a life without them where you can surround yourself with people you care about and who care about you in return. Life doesn't always have to be so crap. :hug:
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I know the pressures of family and how they can forget that you are hurting that you do matter. It is that they are just so wrapped up in themselves they don't see your pain. Thats when you have to just tell them enough already i have had enough please just back off i am hurting. Sometimes you just have to tell them and keep telling them until they hear it. If not back away for awhile and don't be available take care of you okay so you can think clearer and breath easier.
     
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You should take a break from your family.. I did for six years.. They had no clue where I was or even if I was alive..When I did return they showed a hell of alot more respect..I know how you feel.. Now that I am older and have three attempts behind me, whenever I try to talk about suicide they just make remarks like that is just stupid.. Or they give me dirty looks and walk away..I have no clue what happened to the respect..I just don't think that mental illness means anything to them..Being here on the forum has saved my life twice..I live with SI everyday..But I don't act upon it..I hope we can offer you the same support to help you get past these thoughts..
     
  7. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry I was so angry. I didn't mean to lash out at anyone. My dad knows how to push my buttons and he probably slept well without even thinking about what he did. He only cares about himself...and I hate that so much because I care about everyone, I would never make someone feel guilty because they can't come or for whatever...I mean what's the point of doing that?

    And my dad likes to tell me what to do, like I told him I bought myself murder she wrote season 5 and instead of saying oh thats great or whatever, he said dont buy any dvds right now, wait till the 26th for boxing day, you'll pay them half price. Yeah, I so want to be in a store with thousands of other customers, that should surely cure my social phobias...dad knows about that and I even pointed it out but he insisted I went during the week...

    the worse thing is that in the past I had stopped being in their life, I could live without my dad but now...I'm so weak...I still need my dad...why am I so weak like that? Why can't I just let go? life is so unfair sometimes...
     
  8. bonnytree

    bonnytree Member

    I once had a man tell me quite openly that whenever he found someone was hurting him he would remove them from his life as it damaged his health.

    Don't remove yourself. Try and have a break and listen to these nice people that are far more experienced in helping folk. I find being on this site is making me feel safe. I hope it's the same for you.

    And for what it's worth. It's really nice meeting you. x
     
  9. bonnytree

    bonnytree Member

    ....Plus your piggy wig's bum is kinda cute. :stars:
     
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