If I fail again... it will be the last time

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by randomguy9, Dec 3, 2010.

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  1. randomguy9

    randomguy9 Put's the "Pro" in Profanity Chat Pro

    I am such a royal fuck up...

    Every sport I have tried I have failed...

    AP class in high school and I failed that.

    And now college...

    I fucked up my first semester... but unfortunately did just well enough where I cant retake the classes now.

    Things started to look up... But I have been lieign to myself forever. I had some good semesters... but I have gotten to thinking... the only time I get the As I want is when i take 2 classes or less... and that would be unaceptable unless I was working full time...

    this shows me one thig... I am a C and D student at teh college level at best when it comes time to take a full load. I vowed never to fail again, to get all As from that point on... To make a life for myself... but taht is not going to happen most likely.

    I guess it is mathamatcily possible... In one class I am less then a percent away... unfortunitly that means taht with it that close I would have to get an A on the final... and my best grade on that all semester was a B+ and the others were Cs.

    In my lab class I dont even know if it is possible... 86% pre extra credit assignment (which I am not sure how mcuh it will raise my grade, but the stuff I turned in last week will drop it back down... I very well may nee to litteraly ace that final to get an A.

    Accounting... I will know on monday if i am absoulutly screwed or not.

    what the fuck is the point.... Whatever i do i fail... I am worthless. I see no job for myself in the future that is better then minimum wage, no woman would ever want ot date me... I cant do anyhthing right.

    I have 1 final next week and 2 the week after... eitehr a miricle happens or i will be dead before the new year.
     
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hey don't be so hard on yourself. School can be tough and you have to just do the best that you can. I became a teacher and now I'm stuck in school until I'm dead. :sad:
     
  3. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    things could be better for you than you think. If you are always putting yourself down though, it's tough to be happy.

    please look into some therapy and maybe some medical treatment. i think that things could really turn around for you.

    does your school have a councilor?
     
  4. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    You're not a failure, you got into college. Lots of people don't get that far.
    Are you doing the right course? You don't seem to be enjoying it much. Studying something you love is far easier than studying something that might get you a job but you don't really like the subject.
    Sometimes we can be pressured into doing something we don't want to do. Has that happened to you?
    I don't understand why studying 2 subjects is only acceptable if you have a full time job? How does that work? I'd have thought the fact that you have mental health issues is an acceptable reason to only do 2 subjects at a time.
    As we all know, dealing with our mental health problems can be a full time job in itself.
    As for the future - you have no idea what might happen in the future. You could have a complete change in direction. Anything could happen and there is absolutely no point in worrying about things which haven't happened yet.
    Go and see a doctor and a counsellor. You deserve the support.
    xxx
     
  5. randomguy9

    randomguy9 Put's the "Pro" in Profanity Chat Pro

    Made a decision... I will try in vain to fight on... if I get As i will live to see 2011... if not then I am dead on the 22nd... I cant deal with this anymore.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 5, 2010
  6. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    I hope you do well in your courses, but if you get some B's and C's, it's really not the end of the world. I tried getting straight A's but it's really hard. Good luck. :hug:
     
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