If I KNOW things wont get better, then what is the point

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by bleach, Nov 3, 2007.

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  1. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    If I KNOW that things wont get better, then what is the point in living. Nobody ever changes, everyone I know is the same now as they were years ago... you can always tell who is going to be successful, who is going to be a winner, and who is going to be a loser. Ive always been a loser. You are what you are. and if you hate what you are, then youre just doomed.

    The pain is only going to get worse until Im dead, so why should I prolong it. The only reason is because other people would be sad if i died. Its seems a bit hypocritical that I should be expected to live in pain so that they shouldnt be. Im always being told to follow my heart and not live for the expectations of others, but my heart tells me I should die and the expectations are the only thing that keeps me from killing myself.

    I was born a loser and Ill die as one. Everything I try to accomplish just turns to shit... thinking positively is not going to make me a better person, its just going to make me a loser who thinks positively. whatever it takes to be a successful person, I dont have it. Theres nothing to look forward to, so what reason is there to even go on
  2. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    everyone can be a successful person cause honestly i seen ppl hit rock bottom and now having a great life, anyone can change its up to you hun and i do my best to help you out :hug:
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    We really cannot be sure that things will always remain as they are. Even when they have seemed to be that way for eternity, little changes occur all the time. One day that change may just be the one the one you need. I don't know you or what things you do, but I am certain that not everything you have ever done has been a failure. Maybe you need someone looking from the outside to be able to see the reality. We often times are much harder on ourselves than others would be. We cannot see the good that happens. The successes. Sometimes we dwell on the negative and failures. It can be a matter of perspective and depression skews that perspective. Don't give up hope that you can succeed. It is within you. :hug:
  4. dreamstar

    dreamstar Active Member

    I agree Bleach. Some people are just born losers. I'm one of those too. My life is crap, its always been crap, and always will be. I do not want to live a long life when there is nothing for me here. I hope to be out of this hopeless life of mine soon. I think its really selfish how people expect you to just keep living for others just to make them happy and so they wont be in pain. But what about our pain??? Why should we have to live just to make others happy?! Its so wrong and unfair for people to expect that! When you really love someone you have to be able to let them go, otherwise your love is only a selfish love. Anyway, yeah I feel your post and I can relate to everything you said. Just wanted you to know that. And so funny what you said about the positive thinking, that it'll just make you a loser who thinks positively. So true. I cant stand all of this positive thinking crap. Its such bullshit! Like just think positive and everything will be okay. Yeah right! LIES! LIES! LIES! I cant stand these lies! Oh and Danni, thats not true. Not everyone can be a successful person. Thats just some false belief spewed out by the masses of this bullshit society. Its very unfortunate that so many buy into these lies. But I know sometimes the truth is just too much to handle, that some people are just losers who are meant to either kill themselves or live in misery until they die naturally.

  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I know that positive thinking alone cannot change things, but if you are always thinking negatively then what else can it be? If you expect it always to be bad, it will be because you have limited yourself to seeing only that. Too bad it doesn't work the other way. It would be nice if we could expect only good and that is what happened. Life is unpredictable at best. I am sorry that things have not been better for you. You should not live solely for the purpose of making others happy, but for yourself as well. What needs to change for you?
  6. masashin

    masashin Guest

    Once upon a time i was like those people who kept thinking positive.Let me go to the beginning.

    There is some universal power aka chance who cursed me from day one (born with a human condition)...oké let's go on!!! Later....getting something else ...OK! let's go on!!! Then being diagnosed with AVPD ....ok...go on? Plus some other bad things...and not once in my life there was something beautiful, like that first kiss you have with the only person you ever loved ..no she had to turn her head away, leaving me empty.

    Seriously, i keep fighting but i always knew in my heart that i belonged in a greek tragedy..fighting the gods is something i simply cannot do ANYMORE.

    So now i'm on the other side, that of Bleach and company. So "to be or not to be", well soon hopefully i won't.
  7. SoHappyItHurts

    SoHappyItHurts Well-Known Member

    I think it's the other way around. Things can only get better after being in severe depression. Indeed, people generally get happier as they get older:

    Older May Mean Happier

    People with depression tend to see themselves as losers regardless of how talented, smart, or caring they actually are. Even when reporting the dreams they had the night before, people with depression will portray themselves as losers in the dream. That's actually how cognitive behavior therapy developed, by challenging these cognitive distortions:

    Some of the most ostensibly successful people, like Eastman Kodak, have killed themselves. So it's not because they didn't reach the top, but because they ignored their basic psychological needs. In the US, the typical suicide victim is over 60 years old, white, and male. Their problem isn't money. It's more like self-inflicted social isolation combined with a reluctance to get professional help.

    That feeling is partly due to cognitive distortions like fortune telling, overgeneralization, disqualifying the positive, catastrophizing, and all-or-nothing thinking. As with most people with depression, you are focusing more on your past problems than on getting professional help to explore different ways of thinking, feeling, and acting.

    It's not that you should live for other people, but that, while very depressed, you are more likely to think in the very short-term, ignoring the long-term consequences of your actions for yourself and for others.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 3, 2007
  8. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    But all of that cognitive distortion theory doesnt mean that people can change or that they ever do change.
  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    It may not work for everyone, but it does for some. It also depends on how open you are to allowing it in. I am sorry you cannot find anything good about life. I hope that soon changes. :hug:
  10. SoHappyItHurts

    SoHappyItHurts Well-Known Member

    One can go to pubmed.com and try to find a clinical study that shows cognitive behavior therapy to be ineffective. One will be looking for a long time :)

    However, as GentleLady suggests, there are many other approaches that therapists use, including client-centered therapy, behavior therapy, and solution-focused therapy. An example of solution-focused therapy is the therapist asking the client "the miracle question:"

    Most therapists incorporate at least several different approaches, depending on the needs and personality of the client.

    There are videos at Google Video and YouTube of the different approaches. My favorite videos:

    Approaches to Psychotherapy: Albert Ellis (a father of cognitive-behavior therapy)
    Approaches to Psychotherapy: Carl Rogers (the father of client-centered therapy)
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 4, 2007
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