Uhm. Anyone who knows me well knows I love my pets with the amount that someone would normally show their children. I slept in till 1. I got up. I went out. My gorgeous little white kitten's dead, curled up on the grass. Not a mark on him, still warm. If I'd just woken up sooner, maybe I could've helped. I just... I don't know. I feel sick and headachey and spent 2 hours in the garden crying and I just. I don't even have words for what I want. Just ranting and raving and it's not even fair. That's going to happen to everyone I love and I just don't want to be around for that.