Really, I don't want to die, there would be a lot for me to look forward to if I didn't, but I've sinned so much and I still make the same mistakes. I feel morally stuck and because I haven't confessed, I haven't gotten help to fix things and I haven't been forgiven by God. If God would judge me as a bad person, I have no reason to live. I haven't confessed because I can't be sure people would help me or condemn me. They don't understand where I've been or how much I really hate it, so it would be very easy for them to call me a monster and stay far away. Maybe I'm making a big deal out of problems far smaller than the ones everyone else on this website has. I can't be sure I have any legitimate psychological problems many others face and if I just got help improving my behavior and I knew God had forgiven me I would be just fine. Tomorrow I will have a good chance to talk things out with my uncle, should I take it? Gosh, it's pitiful writing the same issues out again.