If i'm miserable all of the time, why do i still go on living?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by under the mask, Nov 22, 2015.

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  1. I've had a depression (and a lot of other mental health problems) for years on end, and i dont know why i can't just <mod edit - methods> or something... Everytime i try, i chicken out, and the worst part is that i don't know, why i don't just do it...

    A lot of people say that they want to help me, but no one has ever suceeded, and 'm finally fed up with waiting. I've tried so many treatments, and none of them work...

    So why am i holding back? Why am i still here?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 22, 2015
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You hold on because there is hope even if it is a small glimmer that tomorrow next day new treatment becomes available new therapy
    new friendships one cannot read future or what may come I hope you stay here and continue to talk to people who do understand
    i
     
  3. But i dont want any of that... I'm sick of waiting, no medicin helps, therapy makes it worse, and my friends cant help. I just want to end it all, and this THING is in the way...
     
  4. I too am sick of waiting and sick of hope. There is no cure for depression/anxiety and there never will be. At 52 my life is a lonely one and only the internet to give me an outlet. I have tried everything in nearly 17 years trying to recover from this hell. I am certainly not going through another 17 years of this waiting & hoping crap. I have had this all my life and as I am getting older it is getting harder & harder. My friend killed himself last janurary and I envy the courage he had to end his pain. My best years are gone, I am estranged from my family & life in general. I have fought like a demon to beat this illness but it's to no avail. I don't like the modern world since 2000 and and I am sick of feeling like shit and wanting to die when I go to sleep and when I wake up. I have a plan to do end my misery and I don't want to leave a body when I do it. There is no dignity or honor in suffering,life is hard enough but living with this illness is hell, I used to have fear about going to Hell but I am glad to know that it doesn't exist. Every year it's the same and there is no magic power to save me from this hell, I have the power to kill this torture and I will. I am tired & weary of living like this and I have a right to end it and will. So I am gearing myself up for the big day and hopefully it will be soon. Thank You for listening
     
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  5. Much of what you say is something i understand. You understand that it isn't always out of cowardes, that people end it. I to envy the courage of your friend...
     
  6. CGMAngel

    CGMAngel Well-Known Member

    Well said, Glad. This is perhaps the essence of the struggle for me. If this is all there will ever be, then what the hell am I holding on for?
     
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