I woke up in the middle of the night and realized that my suicide failed. I missed that last vital step because I had already been unconcious too fast. So i didnt show up at work for 1day. Right now i couldnt think straigh bcoz of the meds affect. I am so ashamed For crying non stop like 4 hours straight at workthe day before. My boss and two colleagues saw it. Things will never get better. Actually it has nothing to do with things. Its me. My mentality. My mental capability What should i do now?