to actually do it, I would be doing it right now. I don't have anyone anymore, the only person I had, the only good thing left in my life is gone. I don't have anything to live for. He's out there enjoying it with his friends while I'm alone in my room feeling pathetic. I am pathetic. I just don't want to carry on with all this..I just don't want to live anymore. I want to find a way to go.