If Jesus suddenly showed up...

Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by SAVE_ME, Mar 27, 2013.

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  1. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    ...what would happen? My opinion? We'd lock him in a fucking mental asylum because nobody would actually believe him. We'd just think he was crazy and we'd all laugh at him and shun him. Basically, he'd probably have to go through the same shit he went through before. Kinda saddens me actually. How do we know he's not here already but too afraid to come out of the woodwork? I'd feel quite sorry for him actually.

    Yeah, I know, random topic but I'm bored so...
     
  2. Much afraid

    Much afraid Well-Known Member

    Until recently I thought if he showed I was out if here...it's possible it isn't as instantaneous as I'd hoped. Either way I'd think it was a good thing. Okay, ready for the railing ... sort of. ♥
     
  3. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Jesus came back as a homeless, schizophrenic, transsexual, Arab teenager in middle America. You taunted him, beat him to a pulp, threw him over a dumpster, raped him, beat him some more and then locked him away indefinitely without a fair trial. He died alone in a dark corner scratching at the walls.

    Even if he was real and did return, no one is ready. We have a long way to go.
     
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Ever read Ballad of the Bread Man?
    It kind of sums it all up

    Here it is incase anyone wanted to read it:


    Mary stood in the kitchen
    Baking a loaf of bread.
    An angel flew in the window
    ‘We’ve a job for you,’ he said.

    ‘God in his big gold heaven
    Sitting in his big blue chair,
    Wanted a mother for his little son.
    Suddenly saw you there.’

    Mary shook and trembled,
    ‘It isn’t true what you say.’
    ‘Don’t say that,’ said the angel.
    ‘The baby’s on its way.’

    Joseph was in the workshop
    Planing a piece of wood.
    ‘The old man’s past it,’ the neighbours said.
    ‘That girls been up to no good.’

    ‘And who was that elegant fellow,’
    They said. ‘in the shiny gear?’
    The things they said about Gabriel
    Were hardly fit to hear.

    Mary never answered,
    Mary never replied.
    She kept the information,
    Like the baby, safe inside.

    It was the election winter.
    They went to vote in the town.
    When Mary found her time had come
    The hotels let her down.

    The baby was born in an annexe
    Next to the local pub.
    At midnight, a delegation
    Turned up from the Farmers’ club.

    They talked about an explosion
    That made a hole on the sky,
    Said they’d been sent to the Lamb and Flag
    To see God come down from on high.

    A few days later a bishop
    And a five-star general were seen
    With the head of an African country
    In a bullet-proof limousine.

    ‘We’ve come,’ they said ‘with tokens
    For the little boy to choose.’
    Told the tale about war and peace
    In the television news.

    After them came the soldiers
    With rifle and bombs and gun,
    Looking for enemies of the state.
    The family had packed up and gone.

    When they got back to the village
    The neighbours said, to a man,
    ‘That boy will never be one of us,
    Though he does what he blessed well can.’

    He went round to all the people
    A paper crown on his head.
    Here is some bread from my father.
    Take, eat, he said.

    Nobody seemed very hungry.
    Nobody seemed to care.
    Nobody saw the God in himself
    Quietly standing there.

    He finished up in the papers.
    He came to a very bad end.
    He was charged with bringing the living to life.
    No man was that prisoner’s friend.

    There’s only one kind of punishment
    To fit that kind of crime.
    They rigged a trial and shot him dead.
    They were only just in time.

    They lifted the young man by the leg,
    Thy lifted him by the arm,
    They locked him in a cathedral
    In case he came to harm.

    They stored him safe as water
    Under seven rocks.
    One Sunday morning he burst out
    Like a jack-in-the-box.

    Through the town he went walking.
    He showed them the holes in his head.
    Now do you want any loaves? He cried.
    ‘Not today’ they said.
     
  5. lost81

    lost81 Staff Alumni

    Word would probably get back to the pope of his "healing of the mental asylum" and then only God knows. Failing that he could set up a mean fish and chip shop or wine bar somewhere.

    EDIT: Actually wouldn't he be bringing the 4 horse men of the Apocalypse with him? Do asylums even cater for horses??
     
  6. Androgyny

    Androgyny Well-Known Member

    He'd probably end up right here with us... :/
     
  7. paulhewson

    paulhewson Well-Known Member

    A lot of so-called "Christians" would be in a world of shit.
     
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