If nobody will miss me when i'm gone

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by crissis, May 24, 2009.

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  1. crissis

    crissis Account Closed

    I'm not much of a talker till now. I've been the quiet, shy kid all my life. The last few years I've tried so hard to meet people and make friends, never happened. LOL no gf's, no kisses, not even a girl hitting on me. I remember in elementary school on valentines day we were supposed to give out valentine cards and candy to people. Well, I never once got one. I'm very ugly, stupid, weak, worthless, you name it.

    I'm out on my own now and have realized I'm never going to be happy. If nobody will even miss me, remember if I'm gone, or basically know who I was, then whats the point of living? No one loves me or ever will. I'm a complete waste of space. Economically, its better that I kill myself. The people who have to clean up my dead corpse are getting paid to do it right! Charities will get all my clothing and money!!!

    I've decided to have a little fun and just drink/do whatever drugs I can till I overdose. Maybe. I'll be so messed up that I go jump off a building while intoxicated, its always been a goal for me to go base jumping (this time with out a parachute).

    Edit: yes I just realized I'm so fucking stupid that I couldn't even spell my god damn username right. LOL I think it's about time to jump. If I live I'll let you guys know whats its like to jump from seven stories. Have a nice day. :)
    Last edited by a moderator: May 24, 2009
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    You're not stupid. Is there anything in life that makes you happy, or anything you'd like to do?

    I hope you don't decide to jump.
  3. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    The "quiet, shy" kids you describe are often just nicer and more considerate of others than the MANY idiots you see in school everyday!

    I think what may have happened is that they used your nice nature against you and said terrible things or left you out in order to make you feel you are worthless, stupid etc....it's not true though, you have just been made to feel that way so many times that you have begun to believe it yourself.

    I know this because I was once like that!

    Please please PM me, I know exactly what you're going through.
  4. Vitreledonellidae

    Vitreledonellidae Well-Known Member

    crissis, i really hope you didnt jump, because believe me, your time will come and you will find everything you want :smile:
  5. crissis

    crissis Account Closed

    I was really fucked up last night on alcohol. I was standing on my window seal looking down for a while and couldn't do it. You can add pussy to the list of adjectives that define me.

    I've always thought about suicide since high school but back then I had the mentality that I was going to change and come back to my HS reunion really successful and suave. I guess I told myself that I wasn't going to let everyone get the best of me...I really want to be happy and successful but I have no clue about what direction to take....

    Thanks for the motivational words, they really did show me that the world isn't entirely full of conceited, self-serving pricks. I'm surrounded by them at school.
  6. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    And you're not one of them. That's good. I guess that defines you too.
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