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If not for my family....

#1
I know for a fact that if it wasn’t for my family (and of course my fear of hell), I would be gone. I have been to many therapists, taken many medicines. Bottom line, the past cannot be changed and I need to learn to move forward. I have severe ptsd, ocd, anxiety and depression. No medicine will change the past...no therapy will heal unless I work it, and there is no medicine to heal my disfiguring autoimmune disease. I am so stinking tired of it all yet I keep fighting....
I pray every night to die but I really don’t want to....I would miss so much....my daughters wedding, my grandchild, travel, etc....I worked so hard all my life to get where I am today and one person, one disease, which I believe was brought on by my trauma, has destroyed it all. Though I no longer believe in God, I do believe that Satan exists...between my own condition and the condition of this world, it is definitely the work of the devil, Satan, etc....some outside force for sure. That being said, I just want this to all stop,...the pain is unbearable. I just cannot see myself being like this much longer yet I am stuck....
peace to all.
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#2
Hey,

You are right, you would miss out on so many happy times ahead, were you to do anything to yourself. Don't inflict even more pain on yourself than already is. Keep seeking help. Keep reaching out. Keep talking to us. Keep working on therapy.

You will never be able to change what has happened but you can learn how to think about it differently and move forwards to a happier place. You have worked and struggled too hard to get where you are now - don't let that be wasted efforts. You can get well again and heal from the trauma once you do not give into these intrusive thoughts.

*hug *hug *hug
 
#3
Hey,

You are right, you would miss out on so many happy times ahead, were you to do anything to yourself. Don't inflict even more pain on yourself than already is. Keep seeking help. Keep reaching out. Keep talking to us. Keep working on therapy.

You will never be able to change what has happened but you can learn how to think about it differently and move forwards to a happier place. You have worked and struggled too hard to get where you are now - don't let that be wasted efforts. You can get well again and heal from the trauma once you do not give into these intrusive thoughts.

*hug*hug*hug
The kindness of everyone here is unreal! Thank you doesn’t seem like an appropriate enough word!
 

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