If only I had one

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by gabski, Nov 17, 2008.

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  1. gabski

    gabski Member

    Honestly, If I could get my hands on some sort of ammunition...I want to do it. I feel as though this is the easiest way for me to give up...I've thought about everything else but this seems to guarantee an easy way out. I know that sounds pitiful but I'm pitiful, I don't deserve pity from anyone however, I'm obviously week and can't even face life...I never have anything to look foward to the future...I'm tired of living life, waiting to die. We are born to wait to die, I don't want to suffer through the period of time until I get there anymore.
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Heya, Gabski. I'm sorry to hear you feel so desperate right now. It can be hard to ride out the rough spots, but things do get better.

    Is there anything fun or interesting that would you like to do if you could do anything? Perhaps you can work your way through this dark patch by setting that as a goal. Sometimes just planning and dreaming about what we'd like brightens our outlook enough to really get going again.

    I hope you feel better soon. :hug: :smile:
  3. gabski

    gabski Member

    I don't even have the ability to dream about my future anymore...I literally can't look forward to anything, nothing has ever worked out for me and it's as though I wait here to die and watch everyone else progress without me...there's nothing I'm passionate about to give purpose.
  4. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Aw, hun! :hug: I've felt like that sometimes, too. I try to remind myself that we all progress at our own rate. Be patient and gentle with yourself. :smile:

    When we are depressed, we tend to compare ourselves negatively to others. So, if we're facing challenges in our lives, we might be seeing/feeling bigger roadblocks than are really there.

    I dunno if there's stuff going on with you recently that adds to your bad feelings...Sometimes it helps to share/vent on the forums here and get support. And you're more than welcome to PM me any time.

    Hold on, it'll get better. :smile:
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey gabski,
    You have all ready taken that first step in helping you! We are here to be a line of support for you. You can talk to us about anything because we don't know who you are. So please just let it out and we will offer you the best advice that we can. You will eventually start making friends here on the forum! Before I found the forum I spoke to know one. I would lock myself away and not even talk to my sister who I live with.
    Life can really suck but what it boils down to is what you make of it. To this day I see a shrink, a therapist, and take my meds, also I talk to my sister a little more. I have to be careful what I say to her because she repeats it to everyone. I have already gotten on her case about that. It's just her way of coping with it because she has problems of her own.
    I hope you continue to talk to us! There is no need to go down that path you are currently on. there are so many others on the positive side for you to explore. Take Care!!~Joseph~
  6. gabski

    gabski Member

    The problem is that I can look from the outside point of view and see that this is not a good thing, and that life CAN be worth living- but I can't make myself believe that...I analyze every single little thing and it continues to bite at me.
  7. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    If you are feeling like you have nothing to loose, this is the best time to take chances...find anything that has your interest and do it...learn more online, take up some sort of advocation, do something...I think it is true that we are what we do, and when we feel so despondant, we feel like we cannot do anything...just do something...blog, draw, cook,...something...and then you will have something you can do...all the best, J
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