If Only I Knew How!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ~Nobody~, Apr 1, 2007.

  1. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Do you ever feel like you're burning up and you're literally going to explode because of everything going on in your head?

    Do you ever feel like you have so many problems at once that you can't even begin to 'let it all out' because you don't know where to start?

    I feel trapped. There is too much. There is too much bad and I can't even begin to get it all out of me. I'm being eaten from the inside out.

    Sod asking me 'what's wrong?' - what the hell isn't?!!

  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Maybe a good way to help you figure out what is going on is to make a spider diagram with you in the middle and all the things going on around the outside. it might give you a clearer idea of all the stuff going on.

    Then maybe afte that you could then vent about it on here just working through point by point.

    Hang in there
  3. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the reply, means a lot. :hug:

    I like the spider diagram idea. I'm going to do that.
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    good. Hope it helps.

    Here if you need to talk/rant/vent or whatever

    Take care
  5. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Well I have run out of room on the paper.

    So now I have screwed it up and thrown it and I am going INSANE!!!

    Why so much shit? Why?!

    I can't even do a spider diagram right. :mad::mad::mad::mad: :blub:
  6. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    there is no wrong way to do a spider diagram. You have not done it wrong honey, the paper just misbehaved by being to small.

    Maybe you could try sticking lots of sheets together, or getting a bigger piece of paper.

    You could also categorise it, like a spider diagram for home lfe, one for school/work, etc. which would hopefully shrink them.

    Or you could make a list, bullet point all the point (like a spider diagram but in a vertical line). You could do it on the comp so that you can edit it and stuff.

    It does sound like a lot going on, so it sounds like you need to get it out.

    Hang in there
  7. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    I was typing a list but I feel like I'll go on typing forever. It's not making me feel like there's less. I can't order my thoughts anymore.

  8. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    It's ok.

    Take a break from it. It can take a lot of time and energy to write it all out.

    It might feel like you are writing forever, but it won't be forever, you will stop and you will get everything out.

    If you think it might help then try not to give up, but if you can't see a point to it helping, then don't put yourself through further frustration.
  9. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Awww, i'm sorry, hun... I'm here if you want to talk. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
  10. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    It's not okay though, nothing's okay.

    I can't think of one single aspect of my life where there isn't at least one major stress or problem or worry.

    I don't want to face another day. I don't mean I'm about to actually do it, I don't have the means tonight, but I am feeling so suicidal at the moment. I don't want to have to think.

    EDIT: Thanks carolyn :hug: but i don't know how to talk.
  11. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    :hug: Sure you do, you just don't know it. ;)

    Hang in there sweetie :hug:

  12. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Do you have anyone helping you with all the stresses in your life? Sounds like you could do with some help to work through them and that they are all over whelming you right now.

    I am glad that you are not going to kill yourself tonight. It might seem insurmountable but everything can be broken down and made achieveable.
  13. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    :yes: :hug: :grouphug:
  14. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    I have an hour a week of therapy with my lovely (I'm not being sarcastic) social worker, Sue, but that's very specific to one BIG issue of mine. And that issue's so big I don't feel like we'll ever fix me anyway.

    In terms of people around me, no I don't. Everyone is in themselves a problem.

    I'm just fucked up. Maybe I just don't deserve to get better, to feel better, I'm pathetic.
  15. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni


    That's not true hun, you just feel bad and you are taking it out on yourself, but you shouldn't. :hug:
  16. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    If there's not something that's just bad about me then why does everyone treat me the way they do? :sad: I sound pathetic asking that question but I think it's a valid one.

    I know that I am a shitty person. I am dirty and bad and I am WEAK.

    Everything is against me. Why should I keep fighting? I am not strong enough to do this! :cry:
  17. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Eurgh, I hate being the person I've become! :sad:
  18. Nosmanic

    Nosmanic Active Member

    I think you should try to find a little problem and try to solve that and then move to the next and if you need help, you need help:biggrin:

    Just find one problem you care about and work on that. And find someone to help with that one if you need it.
  19. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Thank you for replying Nosmanic :hug:. What you suggest makes sense, but all my problems are so interlinked and of course they are all related to the fact that I am just one huge problem myself. I don't think I can fix it all. I don't know where to begin. :sad:

    Oh and I do need help. I need a hell of a lot of help. To say the least! :dry: