If only tonight

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Auerbach, Dec 1, 2015.

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  1. Auerbach

    Auerbach Well-Known Member

    If it weren't for my mother, I would kill myself tonight without a doubt and without thinking twice. Every second, every minute, every hour, every day, every week, every, month, every year i hate myself and prefer death over life. I can't wait until my body is six feet under and my body is pushing daisies, rotting away what is ever left of me, but at least I will be dead, no feelings, no pain, no hate.
     
  2. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Hey Auerbach! Just remember that you rock. And that you're the man. Keep your Mom in mind at all times. And know that you are very valuable. One day you will find something that inspires you. Until then, take it easy and keep fighting.
     
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  3. Hey Auerbach! You're awesome for considering your mom! She's truly blessed that she has someone who loves her so much. I'm sure she cares for you all the same. I hope you find a better day very soon!
     
  4. Auerbach

    Auerbach Well-Known Member

    Thanks guys. It's true, my mother is the only reason why I am alive. I would rather be dead. I wish I could be one with the world.
     
  5. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    I think and feel much the same as you are now so I can definitely relate to why you are hanging in there, but if I could be so bold as to ask, just what makes you feel that way on a day-to-day basis? It is one thing to feel but another to understand why you feel.
     
  6. Auerbach

    Auerbach Well-Known Member

    Nothing makes me happy, I feel very alone, I am constantly in a low mood. I do a lot of things to no avail, I stay depressed. Sometimes I get mood swings and disoriented thinking. Living like this on a daily makes me feel like not living anymore. I don't feel part of this world or society so naturally i hate it. I have no friends and never had any type of romantic relationship. Happy couples, friends hanging out, people living life laughing, smiling, i don't get any of that, I can't fathom what it is to feel any of that. And it feels like a mockery every time, twisting the knife in a little more.
     
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