If Only....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by brknsilence, Dec 4, 2015.

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  1. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I just keep thinking I'm failing everyone. I keep thinking I'm letting everyone down. I'm not good enough here or there. I keep messing everything up. My mind keeps going to self destructive things and it doesn't stop. How does one shut these thoughts off. If only, I was better at this or that or not screwing things up, maybe I would be happy? If only, I had more words to say to a friend who is hurting besides "hugs", maybe we both will feel better??? If only, I can manage things properly at home, maybe my mind wouldn't be so chaotic? I'm tired of causing more problems then fixing them. I'm tired that all that goes through my mind is self destructive. I'm tired of battling my problems. Why can't I been happy? Maybe my mind keeps telling me I don't deserve it? Why am I so scared in life? I'm so drained of being me... tired of being this way....

    Thanks for listening. Thanks for helping. Forgive me that my mind still doesn't want to cooperate, because all it thinks about is, "What else can I do, to destroy myself even more?" I wish I understood why I hate myself so much and keep thinking why ai deserve bad and not the good.

    Sorry so long...needed to vent....thanks for listening and being there everyone...
     
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I am saddened by the way your feel. There is always a resolution to any issues whatever you are feelings. You have fight your urges and move forward on a hour by hour. You can overcome these thoughts but please remain strong for life. You are hurting but we all hurt like hell but keep posting here as you it helps writing your thoughts down. We all here care about YOU and do not think anything different.

    Please be safe and take care my friend. I hope these worlds help.
     
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  3. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Thanks so much. I hope today goes well. I just woke up and I just want to go back to sleep. I'm so exhausted.
     
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