......i had the balls to do what I fucking know I should do. Getting really depressed with everything, cant see a way out, logically you can do A, B and C, and "maybe" get to a better place, if you can ever get up the motivation. Fuck i cant even get the motivation to start, and then what, what comes next??? there is no "maybe", thats the fucking idiot inside my head that wants to frabricate a pack of bullshit to see out yet another day. False hope, cruel lies, promises as flimsy as toilet paper. News flash everyone. Theres is no better place, all you have to look forward too is an endless cycle of nothing that only ends when you die. Ill never feel any differant, there is nothing that i can do now to make my life trully work, everyone says differant but this little black duck knows better. Recent experience has tought me I just dont have what it takes, so why waste everybodies elses air. I should never have tried, a part of me regrets it because now i know the truth about myself and its still fresh in my mind, in my thoughts, part of me doesnt regret it, but thats the dumb fuck optimistic part that refuses to take the fucking hint. Im a broken product, if they had quality control at birth I would have been tossed in the bin like the human garbage I am. Not a shadow of a lie, i really hate myself right now.