if she only cared...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by forever_scarred, Dec 15, 2010.

  1. forever_scarred

    forever_scarred Well-Known Member

    sometimes i feel so lost and lonely, i dont really talk about how im feeling anymore to people face to face, its just too hard to deal with or worse to just be ignored. having friends just walk away, when u really need them the most. i kno not everyone is like me, i know not everyone is so caring and willing to be there all the time but it hurts to get the silent treatment then have that person act like nothing wrong. abby knows i would never desert her and even tho i dont agree with how shes acting, id never hurt her, but what shes doing to carole and bob...she knows how hard things are but she doesnt give a damn to her its just "me me me" if its not her way then she gets ticked off at everyone.
    abby knows a hell of a lot more than most people, she knows i dont do well with silent treatment or backstabbers/disrespect but she does give a f**k, my best friend and boyfriend have both done this to me and both times i almost ended up dead...abby says she cares, she says she gets worried when i leave but i believe now that she is lying, if she truly cared shed call to check on me or be there, instead all she cares about is if im mad at her, or at someone else. once she knows its not about her she gets up and walks away. what kind of friend is that. all i want is for someone to listen...really listen not the "it'll be ok" and walk away or the "i promise we'll sit down and talk" but she never comes.
    It hurts, it really really hurts. abby complains that her family is falling apart(parents going thru divorce)...she says she wants to be "happy again." i reminded her that true its not easy but at least she still had both parents, at least she has 4 family's who care about her and would do anything for her and so many friends to talk to and be there. abby has no idea what pain is, to live with it everyday. pain so deep in your soul that u truly believe u are broken and start thinking of the ultimate ending just to end the torture. she doesnt know what torture like this is and she doesnt care.
    if only she knew....if only she took the time....if only she cared....
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni