keep in mind that it hated me before it hated you. It taught me to hate myself. It painted me the darkest shade of black. It made me green with envy. Ive been hurt by so many, loved by so few. The world, everyone elses opinion of me turned into a reflection in the mirror. A funhouse mirror, a distorted view. But the only one I see clearly. Who do I believe. Them, or my lying eyes. I am what I am. What I was born as. My height, weight, color, size, face. I hate it all. Cos you hate it all. But its not my fault. God had the audacity to rip my soul from somewhere and throw it into this rotten piece of flesh. I never asked to be born or to live. Im not good at being human. Im not good at life. Why am I here. What is my purpose? What is the purpose of any of this. I don't have a choice. Being born in a shallow and vain world. I was doomed the minute I was conceived. And now trapped in a life I never asked for, a body I don't want, a face I detest, a person I hate, and a world that despises me. Im sorry. :'( Im sorry for the way I look. Sorry for the way I am. Sorry for the way I was made. Sorry Im not as strong or beautifully made. Sorry im not smart and talented. I wasnt given much to work with. Its not much I can do with a 5'10 pile of sh*t. I wish I was born different. I wish I could be someone else. Please forgive me. Im sorry I look so ugly. Im sorry im so afraid and shy. Forgive me. Please. Can you still be my friend? A troll asking to befriend the Gods. I just don't want to be alone here anymore. Im sorry im ugly. I swear im a nice person. I have a heart too. I have heart. :'( ... What about my heart? Can you find a way to love me too? Can someone please look past the outer beast. I have a heart too. I deserve to have love. Im sorry. Life has so much. So much beauty. So much to experience and feel. And to have none of it is overwhelming. It is overwhelming. It is unbearable. Like choking, gasping for love as if it was air. Starving for a friend as if they were food. Thirsty for a life, but my life is one endless drought. Its torment. Infinite torment. To sit and watch so much happening, so much love, happiness, and joy all around me. I can only dream what it is like. I can only imagine what it feels like. I would give anything to be anyone else but me. Such lucky and happy people. So lucky. So lucky. Your all so lucky. You won the lottery. Your lives are so beautiful. So amazing. I can only sit in awe and anguish. Your joy is my misery. Cos the world hates me. You hate me. I hate me. I have nothing. Nothing to love. Nothing to hold. Nothing to see. Nothing to touch. Why give me a heart. Why give me hands. Why give me eyes. If I was never meant to use them. Why? Why did you bring me here. What do you want from me. You just need me to be. I need to exist. I know what I am. I know what I was meant for. You cant have light without the darkness. You cant have beauty without ugliness. You cant have success without failure. I was meant to be mentally ill. I was meant to look like this. Cos my purpose is to be the opposite of good. The opposite of light. The opposite of beauty. The opposite of success. The opposite of sane. The opposite of strong. The world needs me as the example of what it looks like to be an ugly, lonely, unintelligent, loser. You need to look at me to appreciate what you have. You look at me to remind yourself it could be worse. You look at me to define what is attractive and not. You use me as your example of what not to be. But lucky for me, you cant have life without death. And soon I wont be here to be slave to this world. We will all be nothing. And only then will I find happiness. We will all be nothing. We will all be the same. We can all be friends in death. I think about dying so much. What will it be like. Will I sleep forever or will my consciousness float around this world or another. What am I, where do I come from, how did I get here, why couldn't my mother have a abortion if she didn't want me? I don't want to be here just to envy the world and live in misery. What was I suppose to be? Huh? I was a pretty dumb kid but I think I finally realized it when I was 15. After being verbally and physically abused and rejected, it finally hit me. Children are the most honest. They don't have an agenda. They told me what I am. They beat the truth in me. Adult just confirm it, they just do it more indirectly and subtle. Oh your a nice guy but, not my type. Imagine, being no ones type. People treating you as if your carrying a deadly virus. That person in the mirror. I hate you. I hate you so much. Don't come near me. Don't touch me. Why wont you leave me alone. Leave me alone. What are you. Hes attached to me. Im carrying a dead body. I have to get rid of it. I hate him. One day I swear, I will find a way. I will. I will. This cant last forever. If the world hates you, keep in mind it hated me before it hated anything. Im the opposite of loved. I was born to be hated.