I bumped into this site accidentally, as I was browsing on the net how I can end my suffering. I used to have a normal life, work, friends, plans...But all of a sudden I started to feel very sharp pains in my tummy so strong that I was just lay on the ground and prayed that it would go away. I thought it was just something temporary but not. I went to various docs, went through terrible tests but they cannot diagnose my illness. I can hardly move, my tears are flowing on my face when the worst attacks hit. As they cannot tell me what is wrong they think Im making this up. This whole thing has been going on for very long months. I was working abroad, and as things were going badly I thought maybe I should move home just for a few weeks to get diagnosis and everything will be back to normal. But months were passing without any result. I didnt close down my life abroad (bank, work, moving my stuff back to home) I left everything open as my dreams tied me there and hoped this nightmare will be over and I can continue where I was. But not...At the moment Im living with my parents, though Im nearly 30 in a small village. Every day I go to bed with the thought that my pains will disappear by the morning and I can live normally. I went every possible places for help but docs dont know what is wrong. Now Im at the point that I think it will be better if I kill myself. I had done so many things to get better but I cannot live longer in pain. For months I just went to docs then I came home,not even leaving my room. I lost my interest in everything. My friends even turn away from me as they think I cannot be in pain if there is no sure diagnosis for it. There are so many beautiful things in life, but I simply dont have the strength to fight in pain. I dont know why Im writing this down here. English is not my mother tongue, but here in my country I couldnt even find a website where I could share my thoughts about suicide.