if you are easily triggered, read this...

i'm pissed about something and i just want to put it out there

if you are often triggered, please stay out of the rape/abuse forum.

some of us were treated terribly as children. tortured is probably the best way to put it. hurt terribly by the very people who were supposed to protect us.

this forum should be a place for us to share those experiences in whatever way we need to. narrative, story, poetry, or art.

what we don't need is to be silenced once more, this time by our own support community. that only adds to the shame we already experience, and there is so much shame in being an abuse survivor. it gives us the message that some things are just so terrible that they can't even be talked about in public. it's not a stretch to think WE must be the ones that are terrible.

the whole section forum is labelled triggering, some of us add triggering to the title of our threads or to the top of our posts, as an extra courtesy.

if you read it, then complain to management that you were triggered i have no sympathy for you.

be an adult about it. you will be protecting yourself, and you will be showing a common courtesy to the rest of us.

don't try and silence us. as they say, the truth will set you free.

 

how about the people who were raped or abused AND are easily triggered :dry: because if you have to keep out if your easily triggered that kindda rules out a lot of people who need help.

its not ok to post anything at all. if it's deemed too triggering then there is a reason for that. not even to mention the fact that the forum as a whole could get itself into problems if that were allowed. im sorry but i can't understand all this.... it completely fails me.... the rules are made in partnership with the forum owner - its their forum - surely its up to them what the rules should be. not you. not me. not anyone else. and at the end of the day its to look after the majority of people and to keep this forum online and the safe place it is for the majority.

 

i am sure what dazzle means is obviously not for rape and abuse survivors not to enter the rape and abuse forum at all. they can obviously post there and get support that way or get some reliefe by getting something off their chest.
what is the subforum good for then? theres no point in talking about abuse if you cant actually talk about it. "hey i was raped..." answer: "oh... im sorry.. i hope you feel better now... but dont tell me more!"
i agree with what you said, dazzle.
in my opinion it is rediculous to surround us all with an enormous amout of pillows and glitter sprinkles bc we cant take the responsibility for our own actions.
the whole point of the rape and abuse forum is being destroyed.
i am not bitching at the staff or the forum owner, im directing this to people that cant stand up and take responsibility for their own actions ( -> ignoring the warning and "driving off the cliff" when the road sign said ATTENTION CLIFF) and then running to the staff about it.

 

I know my opinion won't matter too much, as the forum does belong to someone, but for whatever reason I feel the need to weigh-in...sorry


I can see the points raised by both sides in this case. As a way to cope and get over the past, it is important to discuss it, I dont think many people can really argue that point. To get it out and really understand that in the case of rape&abuse (which seems to be the "problem" recently) that it is not the victims fault. However, these stories can be and are in many cases extremely triggering, and while people should use digression in reading these stories, it is ultimately a combination of peoples responsibilities, the reader for ignoring (there is a better word but its lost on me for the moment) the warning and the forum owner for allowing the post to be visible by all. However, I do believe the responsibility legally will fall with the owner of the forum, although I am not 100% positive on this. Also, lets be honest here, how many people will blame themselves for reading something regardless of the triggering warning?

Yes, triggering posts are on this forum, as is the nature of many of the sub forums, however posts that are too graphic may be to an extreme. I fully support discussing and talking and posting about peoples past and the issues and problems they face, and have read these stories myself. No matter how much it may help to post these events on the forum, try to look through the eyes of the owner and staff members. They want to keep everyone safe, and in my opinion there are different levels of triggering, from a slight trigger to posts that may provide a vivid picture of its horrors in some peoples minds. Ultimately it is up to the owners and staff to decide if the horrors described are too graphic to be visible to all on the forum.

Maybe if some details were left out the stories could be allowed regardless of the nature of them. Similar to how people telling stories of suicide attempts have to leave out methods, but can describe feelings associated and what has happened since then. I am not saying this is the absolute best way to deal with the past these people have experienced, as I am sure discussing the details is necessary, but maybe the details can be left for private conversations or private blogs that way the forum owner and staff won't feel bad about having something on this forum that triggers other members.

Please everyone, let's not fight too much about this, I think both sides can see why the other believes what they do, but keep in mind how hard the owner and staff work to keep this place safe for everyone. Rules are clearly stated and we must abide by them. Yes, triggering posts exist and ones that are too triggering might be edited or removed, but we can still support eachother. That is what this forum is for, support, and while some may feel it is not fair to censor people on here there needs to be a line drawn somewhere. Think about it, if everything everyone went through was on here in great detail we would likely trigger every other member. I know it seems weird to not speak your mind on here, but just remember we need to respect eachother and yes it sucks that we cant always be as open as we want, but we need to think of everyone, the posters, readers, responders, staff, owners and whoever else I may have forgotten.

Sorry again since this isn't likely something that will help or change peoples mind, but like I said, I felt compelled.

 

I'm going to close this thread, since this exact same discussion has already taken place, and that thread has also been closed. But keep in mind that we do things here for a reason. We do it because we have the safety of the members in mind. I keep reading the phrase, "Be an adult about it." Let me remind you that we have members as young as 13 here. Not everyone on this site IS an adult yet. The rules are in place for a reason, and if we, as staff, deem something to be too triggering, we reserve the right to remove it.