For my wife to be alive.
If it's any consolation, which it probably isn't, the love that you and Jessica shared is something that people could only dream of having. Your love for each other was the very definition of "unconditional" and you two were soul mates in the truest and purest form.
And while I don't for one minute envy your loss, I do envy that you got to experience the kind of true, deepest, honest and pure love that the majority of us will never get to experience. The whole situation is so incredibly bittersweet. Sorry ox