if you could be me you would know why

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by n1sifo, Dec 27, 2008.

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  1. n1sifo

    n1sifo Guest

    I can never have anything or anyone good in life. I finally meet someone who was so good and we both had the same ideas about life. two weeks before Christmas she told me she wanted me to be her boyfriend and we would be together. We continued having a good time when a week later she said she made a mistake. She gave the famous it's not u it's me, and said her heart is not ready for anything and we are just living a lie. She said I;m such a great guy, but we all know that's not true because why would she end something that is good. I didn't see this coming because to me we were not lying about how much we cared for each other.

    My world has always been something good happening followed closely be something bad. good has just been a place holder in waits for a bad event. I am sick of living with hurt in my heart and do not want to do it anymore. I don't know why I'm such a bad person and why so many other people get to have life work out for them. I've heard the things get better and things will work out speech and I'm sorry, but it has been many years and it has never worked out.

    I just want a life where I can care about someone and have them care back. I want to be able to share what's in my heart that I;m surprized is still there for other people even though I feel nothing special for myself.

    If you really knew me, you would encourage me to end this crap. What is the best way to go and make it look like an accident? I don't want her to feel bad if I make it look intentinal because stupid me still cares about her even though I have a knife in my heart that she put in.
  2. n1sifo

    n1sifo Guest

    Is a car accident a good way? I wish I could find somenoe who would do it for me. Is this possible?
  3. black orchid

    black orchid Well-Known Member

    hi n1sifo welcome to sf, you aren't likely to get people giving you methods on here coz it is a pro life place.

    I can relate to a lot of what you are saying about the situation with the girl though and the way you are feeling.

    I know you've probably heard it all before but any attempt will hurt more people than you think.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 28, 2008
  4. ScarsandHopes

    ScarsandHopes Well-Known Member

    I've been in your position, too many times. The very good followed closely by the extremely bad, and even the how to end it so as to not make it seem like her fault.

    And when it comes to the people telling you that time heals all wounds. I've found that to be only half true. Finding that I have to fight to get what's best for me, and when you lose, it even worse than not having anything... All I can say is, you should try your hardest to hang in there, if even for just another week. So many things could happen, bad AND good, that ending it would never allow you to experience the good.

    And Panic is right, this is a pro-life site that most likely will not hand out methods. Most of the people here will try their hardest to help you, of this I'm certain. :hug:

    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 28, 2008
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