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if you die, I'll kill myself......

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by TWF, Jul 30, 2012.

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  1. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    .... when people say this, are they really serious?

    I had my mother say this to me today after I told her I want to die. Is it common for one suicide to lead to another? Just curious because I hardly see any other way out. I feel like I hate myself more than I love my mother, so I haven't been deterred by her words completely. She runs a business, has high blood pressure, 4 kids to take care of and she loves me unconditionally.... I feel sick still thinking about it... but I'm depressed and I hate myself too much for ever having disappointed her.
  2. Sea Sparkles

    Sea Sparkles Well-Known Member

    Sometimes, they are. Sometimes they just live in hell for years and depression of what they could of done different in time.

    My aunt was a women with 6 kids, all 17, or older. She owned her own bakery, went to church 3 times a week....Her 19 year old committed suicide, 4 days later she did, too. :( It's been more then 8 years now, I was not close with them, but it shook my mom's side of the family up for a long time.

    Please don't kill yourself, though :hug:
    Let your mom help, she seems caring.

    Please be safe-
  3. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    What are the needs of suicide grievers? Suicide is a traumatic loss -- sudden, unexpected, and often violent. The grief it causes is intense and prolonged. Suicide is still stigmatized. This may cause suicide grievers to withdraw from seeking support. Suicide grievers may feel responsible for their loss. Those who witness the suicide or find the body may suffer post traumatic stress. Many feel anger towards the victim, themselves, or others. They may become depressed and all are at high risk of becoming suicidal. See "Some Myths of Suicide Loss" and "Suicide Loss Rights".

    What about suicide risk among suicide grievers? Data on suicide griever suicide is unavailable. Estimates of this group's risk of suicide range from 1.5 to 5 times higher. One of four suicide attempters has a family history of suicide. "Survivors" are the group at highest risk of suicide. A multistate study of suicides found that 14% had lost a relative to suicide. Adolescents who have lost a friend to suicide are almost 3 times more likely to complete suicide than those who have not.

    Yes - clearly when considering suicide it is far more than just you that is put at risk.
    I am guessing you have tried to get help and meds and therapy? It may be a good idea to explore those options a little more thoroughly.

    Take Care and Stay Safe

  4. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    As a parent who lost a son to suicide, I can tell you that we (parents) die when our children do. It rips open our hearts and drags us down as far as far as far. Just saying.
  5. AsphyxiateOnWords

    AsphyxiateOnWords Eρεβος/Νύξ

    ^ but you're still surviving. Maybe not happy by any means, but surviving.
  6. Lps

    Lps Well-Known Member

    what a sad thread. But good you brought it up TWF. PickWith, my heart goes out to you. Yes, suicide is absolutely contagious. As shown below. I understand that it can feel like a burden to live for others. Of all the people who need mercy and attention, it's yourself. YOU need your own kindness and FORGIVENESS. Why would you hate yourself more than other people do?! Sending you love.
  7. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Yes. And if I can survive something so horrible... so devastating... so heartbreaking... I submit to the same for each of you. I won't say my pain is any worse than anybody else's, but to me there could be nothing worse. We each have our own cross to bear, and I choose to be strong. It is a personal choice that I make and yes, it takes every ounce of energy to do so. Again, it is something we all have within us. It's a fight. Fight the fight and win it. We all have only but ourselves, and we must take ourselves by the hand or with the fist and get though it.
  8. AsphyxiateOnWords

    AsphyxiateOnWords Eρεβος/Νύξ

    The point is that most people do survive even though they say they wouldn't.
  9. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    I think it depends on the mental well-being of the family members of the suicidal person. Some people may say that if you die, they will die too, and that could mean literally dieing or dieing on the inside. Though dieing on the inside may eventually lead a person to commit suicide. The grief of losing a loved one to suicide is often too much to handle.

    Why do you hate yourself so much? What have you done that is so terrible? Your mom may not be able to handle the grief of losing you. And then who will take care of your siblings? I know that depression is an awful illness, but it isn't the end of the world. Please don't give up hope. :hug:
  10. Sea Sparkles

    Sea Sparkles Well-Known Member

    Survive? You mean living the rest of their years of life in depression/ empty voice of what they could of done different, and sometimes having to go threw years of therapy.

    The suicide might not of killed the parents, but then again lets look at the % , of people who have had drug, over dosage(not meaning to) , liver problems or something else that had to do with drinking and drugs, that have lost a child, to numb the pain.

    That also needs to be put into factor.

    @ pickwithaustin , I hope you get the support you need. :hug:

    Please be safe
    - Sea
  11. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    this is not 'survival' asphxiatedonmisery........this is existence only!
    (I am a mother who lost my child to suicide..)

    this is waiting for yourself to die because you can't do it yourself because of all the hurt you know it will leave your family, but getting to the point of suicide so often you can't function anymore...

    this is hell on earth..the death of your soul, a heart broken and replaced with never ending pain beyond comprehension..
    this is wishing everyday that tomorrow never comes and you will be with your child again if there is another life..

    this is being medicated to the eyeballs so you will not take your own life.
    this is going from counselor to psychiatrist, to psychologist, to hospital and around it goes..
    this is isolating into one self to avoid anymore pain

    this is the transference of our child's pain straight onto us..
    I pray they are now at peace for we never shall be again.

    TWF please don't do it...please get as much help as you can to fight this ..
    there is a great chance that your Mum won't survive with her health issues the way they are now and a greater chance that she will take her own life if you do..
    there is no greater pain than for a parent to have to bury their child...especially to suicide

    i am on many grief forums for suicide survivors and it is ''normal'' that so many mothers and fathers now suffer depression, suicidal thoughts and some have even taken their own lives...statistics are high..

    I know you don't want to hurt your Mum and I hear you love her...
    reach out and let her help you get the help you need to stay..
    I hear you are in pain but don't give up..you are worth the fight :hug:
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 1, 2012
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