I hope this doesn't violate guidelines (although why should I care if I'm dead tomorrow?), but do you think it better/easier to do it drunk or sober? My stomach is just flipping at the thought of doing it, I can't sleep or think, without being at least a little drunk, so I have been drinking quite a bit lately. It's either that or being in a state of "panic attack" continuesly. On the other hand, when I am sufficiently buzzed, while everything is not OK, it is at least, for the moment, bearable. Even while I am buzzed, though, I always know that the pain will come back, and then the cycle begins again. So I am asking, drunk or sober?. I am a bit drunk right now, or I wouldn't even ask. And when I read your replies, if any, I will probably be more sober, but more "stomach flipping", and I really think tonite (US time) will be "my time". That's not just rhetoric, either, things are coming together very quickly.