If you need a little hope

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Repeat Offender, Feb 17, 2015.

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  1. I hope this helps at least somebody. Out of the people I have spoken with on the topic this seems to be a useful way for them to cope too.

    First of all I want to say I deeply feel for anyone suffering from or that even knows somebody close to them that has been abused, especially this way. It is so hard to move on with life afterwards and if you are anything like me, you may not think it will ever get better because the pain is too much. Every time I hear another story and sometimes just hear somebody ignorantly joking about the topic it brings back a lot of memories and often times anger along with them.

    I just want to share what has helped me and my family, especially more recently. It has been a couple of years for me since the last incident with this subject and I have multiple family members that have been victims of it. I felt like I would be doing them an injustice if I were to forgive anyone for what they did to them. Luckily, in other peoples lives I have seen them slowly recovering and getting some relief as time goes on and along with the help of loved ones and therapy. What seems to work best is sharing the story. It is never easy to do so but every time it is talked about and used to help somebody else that is suffering from the same thing it feels like it takes a little power away from what happened because then even such a tragic thing is being used in a positive way.

    It was 11 years before I first told somebody and the pain felt as real as it did right after it happened, but I was encouraged to share my experience with others and each time I would get closer to getting through it without breaking down. I didn't realize it before but keeping everything bottled up inside was chipping away at me over the years and I was constantly either numb or close to going into a rage about it.

    If you don't have somebody you have trusted with it irl yet, I would encourage you to post on here anonymously just to get it out. It is understandable nobody wants complete strangers knowing all their secrets but something like this is too much for anybody to keep to themselves. Know that you aren't alone with this and it certainly isn't your fault.
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    That is very well said! I hope you are doing well these days. It sounds like you found a way forward and away from the past. :arms:
  3. Dewonderland

    Dewonderland Well-Known Member


    Thanks for sharing.
    ANd thanks for your care.

    I think it is very hard to say it not only because we are scared about what people will think about us but also about what we will acknowledge about ourselves.
    This might be the hardest part because, especially here, people are understanding but the guilt and the way you feel about yourself ... it doesn't change that easily.

    I feel like probably people need more time for them to admit it to themselves.

  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Thank you so much for this post. It has given me a pick me up, you're correct about everything you say, when i reported what happened to me it felt as bad as the day it happened too. I've heard about more abuse cases than I have had hot dinners. Apparently 1 in 4 people are sexually abused in some way in their life.

    Check this site out. http://www.oneinfour.ie/ There's a lot of helpful info.

    And no one should ever be joking about sexual abuse so I am sorry you had to endure that too, it would make me angry as hell too.
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