Hi...I'm 17...male. I made a post about my list of problems before but stopped replying because a guy said that I was just a teen and it'll pass. Been depressed for six months now I think. I keep feeling better and then I leave my home and i end up cutting again. I must have cut a 100 times in life now. I feel happy a lot of time now...maybe i'm not depressed and just looking for attention. That's what you were thinking,right? Anyways here's the scene...I have a gf who takes care of me. She wanted us to go trekking tomorrow without any warning...so I had to go buy warm clothes and all that in just a few hours. I begged her to just go alone but it was her dream for us to go together. So in the end I agreed to go but I said I wont leave the house and just asked mom to get my clothes. They left. I'm alone right now but they'll be home soon. I tried to <mod edit - methods>. I didn't go through it...it was too painful. I did try to <mod edit - methods> but then I just slightly managed to <mod edit - methods>. You are probably thinking that I did it for attention...no no i know you are not thinking that but i am. I think I'm just a fake teen who's doing this for attention. After doing that I threw my phone against the wall. The display is broken. I had bought a soft toy for my gf and she loved it very much. I ripped it apart. And then I made 25 cuts. I also broke two vases so my room is filled with broken glass...maybe I should walk on it...(no no I wont...I just said that so all of you will take me seriously) Now I'm downstairs trying to think that it'll all be OK. And now I'll tell you something...I hit my gf when I'm angry. I make her cry a lot of times. Shouldnt I break up with her? (If i do then she'll die. I am 90% sure of that) I want to get better but all i think is that people like me should die. They deserve to die. They shouldnt have a second chance. MODS,THIS IS PROBABLY NO CRISIS SITUATION SO TAKE IT OFF IF YOU WISH.