if only i dont have any depression maybe i already have a lot of friends since kid unlike now that i have a small circle of friends maybe i had many experience in love unlike now im 22 and still no experience in a serious relationship maybe im done in college and have a work now unlike now that im unemployed & undergrad in college maybe my father have a less psoriasis because he will be happy in my achievements unlike now.. i cant give any pride in my parents about any career i should have i know i should stop complaining. try to cope in my present situation but sometimes. it's so hard. i need to learn a lot to be a normal person like other people i realize i have enough courage to live because im already 3 years here in sf and still alive even i have recent suicidal feeling. i dont know what should i do to be happy but i know i should be strong for my parents, friends, & self. im in the middle of the something. sometimes im thinking to end my life but at the end. i realized.. how selfish am i if i did it? i want to be look happy & normal in outside. In inside im insecure & afraid to be alone.