if :(

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by asking_advice, Apr 11, 2011.

  1. asking_advice

    asking_advice Well-Known Member

    if only i dont have any depression

    maybe i already have a lot of friends since kid
    unlike now that i have a small circle of friends

    maybe i had many experience in love
    unlike now im 22 and still no experience in a serious relationship

    maybe im done in college and have a work now
    unlike now that im unemployed & undergrad in college

    maybe my father have a less psoriasis
    because he will be happy in my achievements
    unlike now.. i cant give any pride in my parents
    about any career i should have

    i know i should stop complaining. try to cope in my present situation but sometimes. it's so hard.

    i need to learn a lot to be a normal person like other people :(

    i realize i have enough courage to live because im already 3 years here in sf and still alive even i have recent suicidal feeling.

    i dont know what should i do to be happy but i know i should be strong for my parents, friends, & self.

    im in the middle of the something. sometimes im thinking to end my life but at the end. i realized.. how selfish am i if i did it?

    i want to be look happy & normal in outside.
    In inside im insecure & afraid to be alone.
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Here you can be who you are and that is OK with us...you are in school and you are working on yourself...starting later is not the crime, not giving yourself the credit for doing so seems like it...please take a moment and see you have done many things while feeling so awful...that is very brave and strong...two traits you can be proud of...all the best, J