Day in and day out it's the same old same old. Only difference is weekends I work instead of going to class. Work.. school.. basketball... home.. work school basketball home. It's the same, day in and day out. Guess part of that is what makes me feel so low. Theres never any excitement.. never any change. Change is good.. the whole spice up your life. god bless the spice girls from writing that song. Well you would think that a nice break in the monotony would help some? I'm honestly not sure if it did... Today I worked for a good majority of the day, through a wonderful hangover if I might add. (that's basically what my weekend looks like, but hey... need the money) afterwards I went strait to practice to catch the last hour so I don't get reemed for missing then I went home to go strait up to the mountain to snowboard with my dad. I haven't been in 2 years.. last time was a big ski trip to Maine. I was excited going into it. I love snowboarding.. and never thought I would again with things keeping me like having to work, play basketball, and this season sucks like no other for making snow.. week and a half ago it was 70º out. (that's farenheit for you UK'ers) but for the past couple days it's been in single digits.. yesterday being 5º.. today even lower.. I think it was 0º at the summit. So conditions kinda sucked.. colder than the arctic. but none the less.. it was still snowboarding.. and still fun. My dad just picked up snowboarding a couple years ago.. after skiing his whole life. He's not horrible.. but he's no pro either. Neither am I so I can't complain. He actually made me scared though.. because if anything happened to him what would I do? where would I be? Still.. we both survived with out a scratch.. just some bruises I think. Exhausted (well, he is) catching Zz's already. I drove home.. since he was more battered than I.. get home, defrost a bit, and here I am.. spending my night on here, feeling crappy once again... I thought, I honestly thought that doing something like that.. physical, and something I really enjoy would give me a break, even just for the night.. but as soon as its over it's like someone flipped a switch. I feel low and mentally just tired all again. *sigh* when will it ever stop. When can I ever just be a relatively normal kid? I just want to be me without all this baggage weighing me down. not having to come here and wine to you guys all the time. I just want to be able to live and enjoy living.... even just a little bit.